Poor birds. Except that one seagull in Rehoboth Beach that stole my whole bucket of boardwalk fries. That bitch can burn in hell.

Your kid’s never too young to start helping in the kitchen. Keep it there. If you’re letting a toddler choose between ketchup and catsup you’re gonna get a few “hurry tf up” shoe-taps behind you. Fisher-Price makes a grocery store that keeps your sticky little brats away from us barren urban dwellers and parents…

That’s what I was thinking, but based on the numbers it sounds like it would have been $20B. That’s a lot of cash. But then again, maybe he’s just really into Hummels.

“But he already pledged over half of his Tesla shares as collateral to secure certain personal indebtedness...”

I was going to say the 1982 Ford Ranger I learned on, then I remembered a three-on-the-tree I blocked out. Still beats an auto any day. I’ve heard the Trabant is hands down the worst thing to shift ever. 

I wish this was in Pennsylvania because I’d absolutely buy it, and judging by the responses, nobody wants it. It looks like it came out of an early episode of South Park and I’m living for it. My grandmother had one of these in the 1980s and it had plaid seats and a hunting dog mounted on the hood as a hood ornament,…

Julius Pringle was always bald. Those were big bushy eyebrows. We bald dudes need more mascots than just Mr. Clean!

I sense a Making Dune docudrama in the works.

Real estate’s through the roof, gas prices are ridiculous, bacon’s up 50%, and some ass hat’s trying to get $50M for the idea of an image that isn’t even art. I only hope when the revolution comes, the depression starts, or the aliens invade, it’s dipshits like this who get what’s coming to them. Just kidding. The…

Funny how much the economy mattered to Republicans when we were shutdown for the pandemic, but it must come to a grinding halt when it showcases one of their first rate hissy fits. Of course, this is all Biden’s fault. Or Clinton’s. Or AOC, probably. Whoever’s triggering the Reds these days, I can’t keep up. But it’s…

Sadly this is just chum for FoxNews and Trump’s radicals. Somewhere in a sewer Tucker Carlson is crafting this evening’s rant about the misuse of police funds, how police brutality isn’t only aimed at Black people, and how this dipshit’s Free Speech was violated.

The casserole thing really stuck out to me. If it weren’t for that comment, and the strawberries, he might have gotten away with it. I know plenty of people from western PA, and a few from Altoona, and not one of them has ever heard of Altoona-style pizza. Were it not for the strawberries, someone somewhere could…

I hope the Twitter board called “no backsies” because this seems in line with Musk’s ordinary late-night, pot-baked shit posting. I’m waiting for the “just kidding” Tweet.

My problem with potato chips inspired by actual foods (pickles, gyros, sloppy Joe’s, pizza) vs. those seasoned with flavor (BBQ, ketchup, sriracha, salt & vinegar) is that nothing is going to match the real thing. If you love pickles, pickle flavored potato chips aren’t going to be better than just eating...pickles.…

I used to think there was no such thing as a bad donut. Then Dunkin’ went and disproved that so hard they had to go and drop the word from their name.

“Andrew has almost certainly tried to pressure uninterested women into watching him masturbate.”

For me, it’s more a matter of awkward design than overall size. Nixon-era land yachts are long, but most are scaled appropriately. The problem with length or general size comes up when something was designed as a compact or off-roader and stretched to add more doors or swollen to make it more rugged: Mini Clubman,…

It’s an understandable position, but it’s the position that gave us Porsche and Mustang SUVs, and defeats the whole point Mazda is sticking by. Miatas aren’t grocery getters or commuter cars, they’re fun-to-drive weekenders. I’m 6'1", and while I’ve never driven a Miata, I’ve driven an MGB and a Spitfire. Neither was…

“At the moment, it looks like we will have this car forever, with this size and concept and combustion engine.”

My guess is anyone demanding the return of such an abomination has never experienced one. I’ve never eaten one, but I’ve seen one eaten, and it’s why I spent the following decade and some change avoiding Taco Bell until collegiate inevitability. The first rule of Taco Bell is never look at the meat, and the Bell…