The answer is stricter iceberg legislation, like mandatory waiting periods and background checks for icebergs. If that water didn’t have an iceberg that night, none of us would have had to sat through another movie with Billy Zane in it. 

It’s pretty bad when the “smartest man in all of the history” is bested by a monorail in West Virginia built 45 years ago. I mean even if they do put autonomous Teslas in the tunnel (I still don’t understand how that’s more advanced, safe, or comfortable than fixed rail cars designed specifically for autonomous…

You used to see these guys trotting around Center City from time to time. It’s such a unique part of American urban culture, especially here, and a lot of people don’t know about it. That was probably a good thing.

I don’t care if it’s not highbrow entertainment, it was a fun rainy day popcorn movie that had quite a few laughs if you didn’t invest too heavily in the plot. In the superhero genre, it was a refreshing departure from the dark Marvel and DC universes that take grown adults in lycra and capes way too seriously. Not…

That commercial’s pretty sexy, but I swear I’ve heard Nina Simone in a car commercial before but I can’t remember which car.

Porsche already did exactly this in Miami four years ago. 

It looks like a cylon raider sent to end humanity.

Agreed. I love The Takeout and usually look to read my favorite writers, but I thought it was a little suspicious this article didn’t have one. Also - and I am no foodie whatsoever, my idea of a fancy sandwich is anything with brie on it - but like everyone else, I cringed at this use of hamburger buns. Also, note…

When she was arrested she claimed to be Dr. Dre’s daughter. That’s one of the less strange things she did yesterday, but it definitely boosts the mental health suggestion. 

It’s generally not a good sign when a company has to dust off a 45 year old product to prove it’s not boring.

It’s weirdly naive to only suggest this could be used for money laundering when that’s so transparently what it is. Whenever Silicon Valley oligarchs start prattling on about disrupting financial norms they’re really just promoting money laundering platforms that are too confusing for aging politicians to figure out…

When Maserati decided to crossbreed its worst generation with George Costanza’s LeBaron, I only wondered why it wasn’t offered in wood paneling.

“...or a strapping young man giving a lap dance to Mephistopheles...”

I like that KFC’s Tweet vaguely trolls the ass holes “concerned” that licking your fingers is somehow more dangerous than eating the chicken you just picked up with those fingers.

It might seem like a better deal if any mention of a warehouse or actual real estate weren’t suspiciously missing from the ad.

Considering most people only remember this chode exists whenever he says something stupid, I guess he won the attention he was trolling for. Of course part of me blames his parents for calling him Chet. 

Of all the things I woke up to find in my dorm room, or others’ rooms (“hey, can you come get that bumper you left in my room last night?”), a traffic light really would be the ultimate sidewalk booty. That was more than twenty years ago, but I can’t say I wouldn’t have done the same thing if I was in this guy’s shoes…

I too believe everyone should have equal access to dry muffins and burnt ass.

With no context whatsoever, I’m willing to give this person the benefit of the doubt. They could be joking, being sarcastic, or mocking someone they know. Lots of people have very strong opinions about the Bay Area. And since when are expletives offensive? Are you my first grade teacher? Jesus tap-dancing Christ. I’ve…

Karens gonna Karen.