The float doesn’t sound half bad, but pouring a salty bag of Planters into a soda bottle is about as appealing as peanuts and gum or ice cream and toothpaste.

I suggested slingshots to my suburban friends. They didn’t think it was funny. Probably because they knew I was serious. And suggested it in June. And not with candy. 

I watched less than a minute of her “speech” before realizing, if she were anyone else, she’d be the girl to take her bridal party to a gay bar, shove their way to the front of the line, and demand the crowd buy them all shots of Fireball. Their inner mantra is, “We love the gays (now)! You should thank us for being…

I wonder how many people are trying Tab for the first time since the ‘80s, wondering now what they ever thought was drinkable about it. I had a similar experience with the brief return of Zima. In my hazy college memories it was a refreshing citrus beverage. In reality it tastes like a mildly carbonated bodily fluid.…

With some NCIS style hacking you could probably find this dipshit on Tesla’s servers.

As I recall, that era was the height of government nannies and a mandated lack of fun. Kind of like today, but you had to pay for porn. The 300ZX was a breath of fresh air amid Family Trucksters and wood paneled Caravans, and it’s still the sexiest beast designed in the last thirty years. I’m pretty sure those…

I was so concerned from the headline that this was going to be about a restaurant that served chipmunk. 

Elvira is streaming on Hulu. You’re welcome, everyone. 

Judging by the oversized tires and weirdly scaled everything, my bet’s on trick photography and a Matchbox Car.

That is exactly what this kind of customer service sounds like, a utility company. Unfortunately some of these tech companies are so insistent on rebuilding business logic from the ground up (ugh, disruption), they’re bound to encounter some of the lessons already learned in “legacy” industries like cable.

This kind of customer service makes me want to put on my Karen wig, but it also makes me wonder what kind of environment the CSR works in.

Separating art from the artist has been an ongoing debate for so long - specifically, since the dawn of art - entire classes could revolve around just that subject, and probably do.

After a literal millennia of English actors playing Greeks, Romans, and Egyptians with English accents, I’m okay having a vaguely ethnic actress finally playing a Greek, Roman, or Egyptian...with what I presume will be an English accent.

I’ll paraphrase Bette Davis, “You should only say good about the sick and dying...if Donald Trump is sick and dying. Good.”

If there’s one thing Millennials love, it’s an ironic lust for garbage food. There’s no other way to explain Shake Shack. Please don’t resurrect Necco Wafers.

I wonder if this explains why five minutes in a Subway store will leave you smelling like its “bread” for the next 48 hours. 

It’s been about 40 years, but you just made me realize why my parents “tested” some of my candy.

What were the quote and play?? He was fabulous in the movie version of Love! Valor! Compassion!

I’d say a B+ is pretty gracious. Of course, this being South Park, probably the most poignant take on current events ever produced, expectations are high and a “bad” episode is still better than anything else on television.

They toed the line: the anti-maskers were rednecks and ignoramuses, while the maskers were pro-mask for all their usual SoDoSoPa-ian reasons. My favorite mask related joke was Stephen Stotch’s repeated use of the phrase “chin diaper.”