Safe spaces needed ASAP.

Life in Ohio is so bland they think that ranch is the pinnacle of exciting and flavorful.

Ranch and skyline chili. Automatic number one state in worst cuisine power rankings?

serious, what is it with people in Ohio? They literally put ranch on everything!

. . . unless you go deep into the Ohio State corners of the internet . . . .

I say this to the people of Buffalo and the fans of the team, even as a steadfast atheist:

And what is the deal with airline food?

NFL teams do not want Kaepernick. They don’t want the distraction. They don’t want the baggage. They don’t want his activism. They don’t want his divisiveness. He’s not welcome. No amount of pissing and moaning is going to change that.

He does have a mustache.

The profile says he’s cool. Hipsters are not cool.

Step 1: Create governing body.

Finally Colin Kapernick has joined Deadspin!

Great minds, my good man

Probably icing too, but I may need to look a bit more closely. Definitely some simulation, though.

Jesus, they never call traveling anymore.

I think I’d go with GoldHammer but then again, I’m no marketing genius—just a simple man with a talent for naming dildos.

Pittsburgher here: He could have been wearing a replica Hines Ward jersey bought at Kohl’s 16 years ago.

He should have Czekaj’d himself before he Wzekaj’d himself.

If you are smoking, buy a preroll. DO NOT purchase anything with a THC content higher than 20%, aim for about 12-16%. Decide if you want to sit on a couch or go do stuff, are you interested in head (giggle weed) or body (can we order in?) and express this to the bud tender. Have water bottles handy. One hit is good.…

If he wants to donate all $3,000 to it that’s great, and it might make him feel like a good person, but he shouldn’t be guilted into doing that.