That's all well and good, but I'm still waiting to learn how, exactly, does one suck a fuck. 

This really is a great choice. And since you brought up Pearl Jam, Elderly Woman always gets me. It’s been a go-to of mine when I’m feeling down since I was a teenager.

This is fantastic. An actual, analytical deep dive into exactly how much Trump lies? Dishonesty density?!

No surprise there. Splinter just did a whole series on how awful Home Depot is. 

Sure seems that way, doesn't it? Let's change that in November and in 2020, shall we? 

I’ve never quite understood that attitude from corporate. You get what you pay for. It’s an old saying for a reason. So why do they try and squeeze 20/hr worth of work out of someone only making 9/hr?

I figured that’s what you meant.

That's the thing about being too honest with the guests/customers... They either take you easy to seriously or not nearly seriously enough. Not sure which one I prefer, though. Lol

That actually sounds pretty good. I suppose I mostly worry about all the silicone and viagra, but beggars can't be choosers, am I right? 

I always assumed Spencer’s had some sort of (unintentionally) dark side, but it’s actually nice to know that they’ve got fairly cool management.

Preach. 

Oh man... As a veteran retail warrior I shudder to think that my superiors might be listening to the horrible things I say about them and the guests in general.

I think I can live with that trade off.

Too many artificial ingredients. They’d just add to the obesity epidemic.

That'd send a different, arguably much worse, message alright. 

I firmly believe that Heineken rates a "Meh" on a scale of "Oh Shit! Gross!" to "I'm Literally Orgasming Right Now."

They were probably just afraid that Fonda would turn their grandpas gay. 

I suppose he could've trashed European beer while drinking a Heineken. 

Oohhhh yes. Lol

From their perspective, I see your point.