Something then provoked him to take a shot at the old man’s head when he wasn’t paying attention.

They didn’t fleece the taxpayers?! Then what’s the point?

I hope they lose in the World Series the next two years. I want there to be a baseball version of the 1990s Buffalo Bills.

What if it’s a rogue bone that broke off inside his shoulder in 2015 and became sentient and wants to destroy him from any area it can reach?! And it’s voiced by David Oyelowo!

I always get mistaken for that other guy.

Who let me dad announce Padres games?

That stance is so open that it would be considered indecent in the 1940s.

*The Eyes Have Hills

I know how he feels. I’ve fallen for the “down low-too slow” move from my daughter at least a dozen times this year. And she always slaps me when I miss.

He looks like if the Mucinex mucus cartoon turned into a human and lived 60 years and then that human became a wax statue and that wax statue was reanimated by the soul of a recently executed serial killer.

Preseason games are just televised practices with a scoreboard. But that was awesome.

I know I’ll get some hate for it, but I’m going to defend Ross again. He’s really not as bad as people say. Sure, he can be annoying at times, and he’s a little quirky. But his physical comedy is unmatched. After the initial mopey stage he really turned it around and I started rooting for him. And he ended up with…

Son of a Bichette!

As an adolescent, I hated Bill Walton because he always seemed to disparage my Houston Rockets (outside of Hakeem). I still can’t listen to him or watch him without some nostalgic contempt creeping up. So I’m glad he had some fun, but I won’t be watching any of the videos. His voice brings back a version of me that…

And of course I see your reply after the 15 minute edit period. So my idiocy will live on permanently.

“I’m FIFTY!”

I didn’t expect to side with a white lady named “Bria” in a race-related argument.

One day about a year ago, I almost hit a rabbit while driving. My 9-year-old daughter said, “It would have been okay, Dad. Bunnies are a renewable resource.”

Just another thug.

He’s the best basketballer/rapist of that decade, though. First team for sure.