He looks like if the Mucinex mucus cartoon turned into a human and lived 60 years and then that human became a wax statue and that wax statue was reanimated by the soul of a recently executed serial killer.

Preseason games are just televised practices with a scoreboard. But that was awesome.

I know I’ll get some hate for it, but I’m going to defend Ross again. He’s really not as bad as people say. Sure, he can be annoying at times, and he’s a little quirky. But his physical comedy is unmatched. After the initial mopey stage he really turned it around and I started rooting for him. And he ended up with…

Son of a Bichette!

As an adolescent, I hated Bill Walton because he always seemed to disparage my Houston Rockets (outside of Hakeem). I still can’t listen to him or watch him without some nostalgic contempt creeping up. So I’m glad he had some fun, but I won’t be watching any of the videos. His voice brings back a version of me that…

And of course I see your reply after the 15 minute edit period. So my idiocy will live on permanently.

“I’m FIFTY!”

I didn’t expect to side with a white lady named “Bria” in a race-related argument.

One day about a year ago, I almost hit a rabbit while driving. My 9-year-old daughter said, “It would have been okay, Dad. Bunnies are a renewable resource.”

Just another thug.

He’s the best basketballer/rapist of that decade, though. First team for sure.

Plot twist... the kid kicking his seat is a prospect for the Rangers.

I’m still angry that he’s being called “Old Man.” I understand that he’s relatively old compared to high level soccer players. And I understand that he somehow looks like Hank Hill’s father and son. And I understand that he looks like “Back to the Future 2 when they’re in 2015" version of Flea.

I must have been on the cusp of a cycle or a no-hitter during my entire baseball career as a kid because none of my teammates ever spoke to me.

He kissed that boy on the mouth. Why does anyone talk about anything else?

If it comes out weird when you play with yourself, you should consult a physician. Like, if it’s pink then that’s a sign of blood in the semen and you should see a doctor if it happens repeatedly.

I keep meaning to make a Dead Letters Bingo board, but I never sit down and do it. Some obvious inclusions:

I agree 100% that she only got out of this relatively unscathed because she’s an older white lady.

Are there scouts for competitive eating? If so, do they go to the Golden Corral off Westwood Avenue?

Kopech’s wasn’t MPH. That was a 110 on the “percent effort given” gun. That’s why it was big news.