The explanation is the joke.

My wife hits a three every time we get intimate.

shout out to the REAL MVP the rich mf’er who had season tickets to the 2 seats i sat in every game and only showed up to like 4 games the entire season

I don’t pay attention to sports radio enough to know this, but is he a big revenue stream for them? If so, it’ll be interested to see how far they’ll go with this policy when their bottom line is affected. It’s kinda like how domestic violence is only a “zero tolerance policy” for NFL teams when the player accused…

Honestly, my ability to bolster tenuous rhetorical connections and type fast are the only reasons I have a degree at all.

I’ve yet to meet a feckful person. Where can I purchase some feck?

I don’t really have an opinion to share on this story, but I can genuinely say that the culture shift that’s taking place to define and identify abusive behavior (besides just physical abuse) has helped me reflect on the way I treat people, especially those close to me. This public conversation (along with a tough…

Ah, a fellow English major!

Definitely taking him in my death pool for next year.

It’s weird how Caillou grew up to become Brett Gardner.

Oh, honey. It’s only because you’re dumb.

I think we’re best friends.

For sure the first one was more sarcastic. I really love those people who take jokes seriously. It brings joy to my life to see someone that stupid get so many things wrong. Taking me serious when I was clearly being silly. Acting like I forgot that a baseball can hit someone’s face. Calling me dumb because I think a .…

He dutifully accepted his friendly fire beaning in the dugout as penance.

You’re my favorite kind of person. I truly love you.

I say we incentivize throws at the head. He’s got a helmet to protect his brain. And he’s got that stick for defending from the onslaught of projectiles. You bean a batter in the head, you get a bonus point on the board. You can even add up to two extra pitchers if you want to throw a few balls at once. But then the…

The thing that gets me about all this is that I think he sincerely thinks this. It would be one thing if he were knowingly making excuses in a clearly ironic situation. But he really thinks it’s different. That blows my mind.

The people who take interesting instagram videos and put them on YouTube so I can pause and rewind are my favorite people.

Because Child Protective Services. 

To be fair, I think it’s kinda easy to juke little kids. I do it all the time to mine when they try to hug me. They cry so hard! LOL