When a movie’s commericals reveal ZERO about the plot and just try their damnedest to trade on our goodwill for a beloved actor, you know it’s going to be bad. “You guys like zany Bill Murray, right? Well we got him here! Please see this movie!”

Nobody cared who I was until I put on the mask

Does anybody ever believe the old “somebody else had access to my Twitter” excuse? No? Just making sure.

Groot will bust him out in no time.

goddamn it

Remember decades ago when NFL players had to get jobs at car dealerships, or maybe do pro wrestling, in the offseason?

But then who knows what filth and wrechedness you’re kneeling in? This kind of shit makes me thank the gods of IT that I moved from helpdesk to the network side, then to management.

o hai danny

I kep a notary public in the room with us, just in case.

I’ll just say it was one of the main guys behind “Twilight Struggle” (I have no idea, I had to Google it), which is apparently pretty big with hardcore board game folks I guess? You can look it up and figure out which guy looks the most slobby and you’d be right.

That was my takeaway when I read this. “Failed to properly establish consent before every act?” Do we need a checklist and possibly a contract now? Also, this: “The other party later informed me that the sex was not consensual” is kind of making my head spin a little.

I work in IT and got called to the desk of a god damned slob once. His (formerly white) keyboard was so nasty, just caked with dirt and filth that it had turned grey. I said, “I’m sorry, I am not touching your keyboard,” and he got no help from me that day.

I have seen grown men pissing at urinals with their pants all the way down. These guys are definitely on a watchlist somewhere, right?

Exactly. “We made nice nice and listened to our conscience” sounds much better than “we’re in our 14th minute and nobody cares.”

Forget the hastily erased player, check out the long neck and independently floating head on this guy.

How much does it cost to make a hit song? Just going to drop this here, lest we all believe Rihanna is such an anti-establishment rebel. I guess the teams of writers, engineers and vocal coaches finally got around to finishing this masterpiece.

My back is strong

Every radio guy wants to be Howard Stern, no radio guy understands how to be Howard Stern. They all think you just need to say the most shocking shit you can think of and that’s it.

Also knows no good anti-acne creams

God dammit, here I am about to back up Pinkham’s Law. I can’t help it. Mayo Pizza Lady was an angry angry asshole and that kind of behavior is never justified. BUT there’s not much of a leap in logic for the person taking the oder to think: