His point being that cancer kills, and we could “quadruple” cancer spending if we only defunded Planned Parenthood.

“Someone tattooed her whole body all at once!”

In other words, the massive team of songwriters, producers, vocal coaches, etc. aren’t ready for her to come in and lay down vocals.

I smoke weed, get it?! Did you know I smoke weed? And that IDGAF?

By the rules, the money goes to the fastest person. If there’s more than one finisher, the one with the fastest time gets it. As much as the money is a wonderful prize and life changing, he does get the great gratification.

Yeah, the Rock went bald from “genetics.” Same “genetics” that caused his gynomastia back in 98.

This column should have just been called “tails of awful Gamestop employees,” though that is a redundant term.

Going all in trying to lock down the horrible white peple vote

Because she spent 2 hours in hair and makeup before having her personal photographer take this “spontaneous and totally reals” photo.

“Omg my hands are all clammy. What is this. I don’t even know. I can’t believe it either. Like I debated if I would give her the sweater and tonight it just felt right. So happy Taylor loves it!! Ahhh.”

Why did neither the ref nor Rollins beat this guy’s ass? It used to be any fan running in would be handed a pummeling. It wasn’t even that long ago when Eddy Guerrero punched a fan square in the face on Raw for running in on a ladder match. Times sure are changing.

You’re lucky. She calls out her age as a defense about 6 more times.

The whole Bumgarner section of the story is amazing in its millennial narcissist awfulness. I’ve worked in accounts payable and never had anyone complain about how “stressful and anxiety inducing” my attempts to get my company paid were for them personally, nor did they passive aggressively talk about laying off…

Did we ever get the earth-shattering explanation of why the booby girl is dressed the way she is? The mighty and infallible Kojima said we’d all feel stupid for criticizing him when we found out, and I’m waiting.

Enjoy Gary Kubiak, Denver.

It was mentioned in several places, including this column. Apparently, stories about what happened and how McMahon and Snuka acted differ:

The story I always heard is that Vince McMahon himself showed up, either at the crime scene or later, at the police station, and took over with regard to dealing with the authorities. This was back when people thought wrestling was real so Vince had Snuka revert to his “island savage” gimmick and Vince told the cops…

I am not a Ravens fan, and so it comforts me to know that this team can be undone at any moment simply by having this man mysteriously revert to average form at the worst possible moment. He’s like a superhero who has NO control over how or when he can use his powers.

I feel the risk to yourself, and others, of walking around with a gun outweighs the very slight chance that you’ll ever see a situation where you’d be justified in using it. And whether you’d actually be effective in that situation. And whether your presence with a firearm wouldn’t just make things worse.