How DARE THEY REMOVE THEM!!!

The ticker is separate from the show being broadcast. MLB Network’s ticker isn’t giving updates about the Yankees buying Ruth from Boston during re-airs of Ken Burns, either.

Footage of this guy is the best ISIS recruiting video ever.

Okay there’d be no dry food left if we’d all gotten our groceries tossed in a lake after we criticized a Jaguar drive.

Okay, but people pay $300K for memberships to his golf course. If I invite you over to my house for Christmas and take a dump on the rug, sure it’s technically still my call, but I’m also a huge dick for doing so.

Can we just play through this Presidency?

“I wanted to give him a chance. He seemed like a real winner, but this has gone too far.” - At least one of my uncles.

I don’t know...it is pretty confusing...

That asshole from “The Apprentice” seems to be on a new political drama and I just can’t seem to figure out what the actual plotline is yet....but all the news stations keep covering it like it’s real life....

Curt is working on a first-person shooting game where no one dies, because All Lives Matter.

They finally came across some drafts they can handle.

All three of these guys could have been the villain in an 80's skiing movie. 

Tyson: “Tell Trumph to gith me the parthdon he promithed.”

“It reminds me of the day I was just hanging out on a rock eating some algae on Christmas Island, when this crazy explosion went off and now I’m 400 feet tall with bitchin’ laser breath.”

What makes this so difficult is you almost feel like you personally know the players and have a genuine connection with them after investing so much time, energy, and emotion over the course of their long careers with UK.

“It reminds me of the time I woke up and was ready for a beautiful day at the beach in Hawaii and, instead, I had my ship destroyed, most of my crew mates killed, and found myself involved in WWII.”

“Just give me a little trim up top, and in the ears, and get rid of all the Mexicans. Terrific, terrific.”

The lesson, as always: Don’t drink and do cocaine and then leave the bar and go drive your boat as fast as it goes.

Looks pretty accurate to me!

Ugh. A racist AND a homophone!

Read TOM LEY’s story about former player on DEADSPIN!