Eartha Kitteh once saved my life! One of the pilot lights on the stove had gone out, and she woke me up by vomiting as the apartment filled with gas. We would both be 100% dead if it wasn’t for the fact that you can NEVER sleep through the sound of a cat vomiting.

If there’s one thing we’ve learned recently, elections should come with a 90 day, money back, full product replacement warranty.

Top three in worst poetry in the universe:

As someone who used to drink a full pot of coffee every morning, I can tell you that ordinary coffee is perfectly capable of causing coffee scented pee.

Geostorm, you say?

So long as they are calling, have a little fun with it. Assuming you have caller ID, and dont know the caller*, when the phones rings, pick it and and say in a frantic tone “Its done, but there is blood everywhere.” and hang up.

I can say from a rather short experience that solitary confinement is torture in every way but name.

I was picked up on an outstanding warrant, having just left a rehab facility for a variety of issues (drug and alcohol abuse, major depressive disorder, etc.), and was taken to my local jail. I was in an already…

Yes, they were found floating in the ocean because the sharks ate them.

New records are being set everywhere.

May make him an asshole but I’m not ready to equate men who cheat with men who sexually harass/assault women.

Moana will make you sob.

I really like that Mahershala Ali won. I havn’t seen Moonlight yet, but his SAG speech was beyond great and he was by far the best thing with Luke Cage.

It won best Makeup and Hairstyling. No one is acting like this validates the film in any major way. Just like how MCU and plenty of other Superhero films have one awards for technical effects and no one really cared.

So nothing...odd about a 5 year drought ending with the highest rainfall in thes states history?

That’s not how climate change works bub. Just because the temperature where YOU are fluxiates to such a degree that one day you’re in a t-shirt and the next, you’re in a sweater doesn’t mean squat. That’s how myopic you and your kind are. “If it’s not happening to ME, RIGHT NOW, it’s not happening at all” kind of…

Warm in Feb, even in the south, is 60F, not fucking 80+.

If someone came at my labia (majora or minora) with a glue gun, I’d kick him in the nuts.

OMG I don’t understand it! Quick throw some mud! What can I go with? uhhh uhhh...I’ll just go with the this-is-a-tech-blog-where-are-the-gadgets crap then call everyone a follower. /win.

Yep there goes Gizmodo.. you should leave this shit site and never come back. Real news is on breitbart.. let’s go and never ever come back.. never.

I’m in North Carolina right now and the spring has been in full bloom for a couple of weeks now. Everything is blooming so fast that the trees that were still in the buds in the morning are in full bloom by afternoon. Some magnolias are already loosing flowers. And the past week has been mostly t-shirt weather with…