I’m guessing those Blue Lives Matters assholes are going to be conflicted as all hell. On the one hand, they’re going to argue that the drunk chick had it coming. On the other, black guy. Truly a Sophie’s choice situation for them.

When my daughter was 2, she refused to let me use wet wipes to clean her after she pooped, and insisted on being wiped with a shred of an American flag which had been moistened with tears shed by decent upstanding citizens at the moral decay our society has been experiencing since, oh, about September 22nd, 1862. But…

That was truly incredible to Widnes

Bíttolo actually only needed two stitches but the doctor didn’t want to embarrass him.

I almost feel awful for mentally hearing Flacco say “Check please!” in a Daffy duck voice when he lifted his finger.

Bledsoe may hate it there, but at least it’s a dry hate.

I still don’t understand why we can’t link tax rates for businesses to pay for employees. “You pay your employees well, your tax rate goes down” is how it would be rigged up. As a benefit, now the employees are making $$$, so THEY make enough to pay taxes.

The Quicker Fucker Upper

Romulans might not be too happy we broke the Treaty of Algeron.

Honestly, this cover is more insulting to me than any of the BS that Trump has espoused on this subject over the last few days. His comments are not surprising at all and completely expected (albeit wildly inappropriate and backwards).

This is like the time me and some buddies were driving down to Buffalo to see a Sabres game. We all met up at my buddy Aidan’s house and we were about to get in the car and, with it clearly in sight, I called Shotgun. Clear rules, right?

Tasers are still lethal weapons. “Less lethal”, perhaps, but they still routinely kill people, particularly those in poor health or with chronic conditions.

I have no idea what you just wrote.

Sooo fucking pathetic they’ve bitched an moaned about Obamacare for god knows how long, screaming they’ll replace it with something better. You finally get your shot with a majority gov’t through all branches and what have you got to show, WHAT HAVE YOU FUCKING DONE IN THOSE YEARS LEADING UP TO THIS? You have nothing…

So the Red Sox are still stealing signs then?

Nobody thought it was strange that the titles of two of his collections were “Tous Les Yeux Sur Moi” and “Strictement Pour Mes Niggas” 

The Jets could never have another winning season, draft only fullbacks in the first round and continue being run by generally unlikable pricks...

I read this as “on course to die in December” and didn’t even question it.

The central problem with our politics today is that our political order is premised on maintaining coalitions from the Cold War, when the Cold War ended very close to 30 years ago.