oakenguy

1/28/15

For even more irony, in two months you'll be featured as a character in the next Neil Gaiman book.

1/28/15

Seriously, I would love to see a club version of 'Kitchenette' where performers share their best/worst/weirdest customer stories. Assuming Emma wants to leave her current job for the money and prestige of online journalism, of course.

1/28/15

I am dying to see the email she sent out to her friends two seconds after she read this article. I'm sure it's a) 5000+ words, b) FULL OF ALL CAPS, c) laughing the whole thing off while simultaneously demanding all her friends log in here and defend her, and d) containing at least 38 lols.

1/27/15

I imagine their first thought is "Ow".

1/27/15

How many 'lol's do you write in your invitation, though?

1/22/15

This is what I picture the Jezebel office looking like on a normal Tuesday. Only with more coffee.

1/20/15

Based on their response to you and their addition to the Yelp review, this idiot seems to think that no one but food service workers ever come anywhere near this site. Which is kind of like assuming that Soldier of Fortune is only read by actual mercenaries.

1/20/15

Either this couple shares the same brain and writing style, or the fiance was trying to do damage control before his girlfriend saw what a shitstorm he'd turned her Yelp account into. Heh.

1/20/15

1/19/15

Ooo, now I'm starting to like this couple. On their anniversary they go see 'Cats' dressed up in their own cat costumes, singing songs they wrote at home.

1/10/15

This should be printed out and taped to the wall in every green room in the country.

1/8/15

Boston's "celebrating"? Check out the comments on the Mayor's twitter feed to see just how happy Bostonians are about this:

1/7/15

I'm looking forward to all the dudebros coming in to leave comments about how he wasn't using proper arm wrestling form.

1/5/15

Yes, thank you.

1/3/15

I quit Vacation Bible School because the Muppet Show was on at the same time. And by 'quit' I mean hid behind the couch when the church van came to pick me up.

12/29/14

If it helps, I think of it and shudder every time I see chowder on a menu.

12/28/14

I want a time machine and a good camera so I can go back to the moment where the defense attorney got their next assignment and found out what their new client was charged with. With a good fast shutter I'll be able to get all seven stages—shock, denial, bargaining, guilt, anger, depression and sudden desperate…

12/26/14

I watched the Babadook trailer. Hulu then automatically sent me to 'How the Babadook Stole Christmas.' It *then* assumed, based on those, that I'd want to see the trailer for 'Disco Worms.'

12/23/14

They're fairly active in Boston—they hit all the campus bulletin boards twice a semester with their "The TRUTH about PSYCHIATRY!" pamphlets, which usually last about thirty minutes before they're torn up and thrown away, and they sometimes fight the Jehovah's Witnesses for prime pamphleteering space on our pathetic…

12/19/14

I have no opinion about Iggy Azalea one way or the other. But anyone calling her "Igloo Australia" sounds like a 4th grade playground bully and makes me want to disagree with them just out of principle.