Well, she has also consistently upgraded husbands/boyfriends whenever the oppurtonity provided. Scott Foley to Michael Vartan to Ben Affleck*. She knows what’s up.

Orlando Bloom’s youngest former wife

cool it with the harsh language dude

Obligatory:

• Shia wouldn’t stop screaming “AMERICA!!!” at Mount Rushmore. [TMZ]

Now now, don’t get between people and their greasy chicken sticks and tepid fries. Then shit gets real.

When I waited tables, I ALWAYS nuked coffee before I gave it to customers. Even if I was holding a mug under the coffee maker catching the rancid stuff as it dripped out, I would then pop it in the microwave for 60 seconds. Unless that shit was nuclear, the customer always said it was “cold.” I also refused to charge…

The woman then said “I don’t eat anything pureed”—apparently her reason for needing whole potatoes.

Yeah...her birth announcement sure sounded like she was happy to be having another bundle of joy. I’m sure the kid will love reading how excited it's mother was when she found out 😒. I've seen people take a cancer diagnosis with more zeal.

Two things can be true:

I have Dog nail decals.

Ugh! Why didn’t Dog find him? There would be nothing more epic than Beth giving him a stern talking to on their way to the pokey. Please don’t ask how or why I know Dog and Beth’s names or what they would do if they had arrested him; I know nothing and I’ve never binged watched their show on A&E due to being too…

Not enjoying the innuendoes in the picture chosen to go with this article.

I, for one, frequently compliment others by telling them they look like malnourished birds! Oh. Maybe that’s why nobody came to my birthday party?

Serena seems a little too good to be in Taylor’s girl pack. Serena should have her own group.

Juli Luke’s statement should have read

fictional bristol using whom

He deserves to be punched in the face with a Kia.