I'm not going to pretend I don't run to "Shake if Off" at the gym but yeah, humility has never really been an obvious trait of hers.

I didn’t have much respect for Jim Carrey before his idiotic outburst and now I have none.

Same for me but swap July 4th for Memorial Day, the bike for just plain old walking, and
Brooklyn for Bumf*ck, Kansas (don't ever move to Kansas).

WE CAN HAVE GAY RAINBOW FIREWORKS NOW!!

She kind of looks like Rosamund Pike, which makes me want to think she's a wannabe Gone Girl, but she's not really smart enough.

Why is she so tall and mature looking? I don't like change. Go back to being little, Malia.

What is the relation between a nice birthday trip with one's sister and this picture? I honestly can't figure out what she was going for here.

R.I.P.

I mean, at least she didn’t say “I’m not a feminist because I don’t hate men.”

I did not know these facts. My opinion of JG changes by the minute.

I’ve always assumed that JG is exactly like her character in Juno and I have yet to see any evidence that proves me wrong.

“Quotes Bible verses to claim that women shouldn’t be pastors”

My Grandma still calls black people “Negroes” on a good day and even she thinks Bill-O came off racist in this clip.*

If I get sick again all winter because some bratty, hipster parents refuse to vaccinate their “pure” kiddies and then take them to Disneyland on a plane, I’m going to go lawless. I’ll vaccinate the little toads myself.

“..it was so bad that one out of every two customers asked for it to be comped off their check.”

Only rich people get to be murdered by Rihanna. Those in the 1% even get to die cooler and more glamorously than we do. :(

His face in that picture says "Well, shit. Maybe I won't need rotating first ladies after all..."

I celebrate every Kardashian birthday with copious amounts of booze. I used to do it for the Duggars but my old nemesis Alcohol Poisoning decided celebrating 332 birthdays a year was “excessive" and intervened.

OKAY BUT DID THAT PASTOR SET HIMSELF ON FIRE YET OR WHAT?

I’m still impressed and yet equally annoyed that somebody is going to become a billionaire off the revolutionary invention of essentially making it easier to attach a camera to a stick.