Male? Check

Maybe he had stickum on his hand and it got away from him.

“Professional athlete”

There’s a place in Seattle called Kym’s Kiddie Korner that sells cheap strollers and other cut-rate child gear. Not...great.

Loves horses you say? That must leave a real stench.

“That Rollie Capers sure could dish the rock.”

*whispers* Kaepernick to the Texans.

NICE.

What do Cunts have to do with anything?

Wat in tarnation is that field?

Um wtf. If he does that it’ll be with the Mariners.

Realignment now!

As if I needed more reasons to hate yuppie food culture and Tyler “Rand” Cowen.

That’s maaybe an eight seed, which *surprise*, was what the process is supposed to prevent from happening!

If my aunt had balls she’d be my uncle, ffs.

Did anyone fucking edit this piece?

Nobody fucking cares.

I think you were looking for “strategic” not “tactical.”

Ben Boulware would like to clarify that “juicing” is an inappropriation of the “Clemson Way.”

Oh believe me, I would be extremely pleased if this afterbirth was raped or assaulted in prison.