Cool! Here's my wishlist for CPVPV citizens. I'll help whip up immigration papers for them. Make sure you tell them dual-citizenship is an option. :)

"never to be peen again."

YES! We definitely need someone to do that. Actually, we need most of the the members of the commission to do that.

Clearly I need to come up with some treats for the confectioners in return, because they are awesome.

"studying the "after" images lead to the conclusion that the "best" face, the optimal look, is one with wide eyes, a pointed chin and a narrow nose."

The Moon is welcome. Please let there be tinfoil hats for all of us.

Aw, is he? Damn it. He seems so cool on the show. Why, Boreanaz, why?

Well, there goes my first project for the "Commission for the Promotion of Vice and Prevention of Virtues." (Crosses taking skulls onto airplanes off the list.)

For our first task, I suggest we all spend an obscene amount of time hanging out on Jezebel and commenting on things. I imagine this is something everyone here can complete without any real effort.

Well, if he was rejected by the Virtue Commission, I think he automagically gets included in Vice, so he's in.

Awesome. My grandma has some great recipes we can use on your subcommittee. Many of them call for lard. Yum yum!

Well given that you provide no examples of your work whatsoever - done! You're our new lead field agent. I have no doubt you'll do a good job. Or a bad one. Which ever you feel is best.

Certainly!

The job is yours.

That's a good point. But... redundancy and waste seems like a feature of vice, so I vote that we can never have too many of these commissions.

Also, "Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vices" - I'd like to start the alternative "Commission for the Promotion of Vice and Prevention of Virtues." I'll start the paperwork on that if you'll consider electing me the commissioner. I've always wanted to the the Commissioner of something, and…

Is "too handsome" code for "probably gay" though? Because that's been known to happen.

Football and basketball ARE representative of high school sports as a whole. That's where all the time, money and attention goes, from the point of the school systems, the parents, the students and the collegiate scouting programs. Those two sporting programs in high school are completely outsized compared to other…

But that's my point; people aren't really generalizing. "High school sports programs" are pretty much synonymous with men's football and basketball at this point. Those are what people mean when they use the phrase. They're the same thing, in practice. Of course it shouldn't mean the same thing, that but it does.

Well, that fixes one of the 893 words I pronounce wrong because I've only read them and not heard them said out loud.