Chris Pratt seems delightful and I would appreciate everyone agreeing to my conclusion/not shattering my delusion, thusly.

Damn, Macklin!

My dad does the BEST Count impression EVAR, and when my daughter was little, he'd do it from another room, and she would freak the fuck out. She'd look at me like, "HOLY SHIT THE COUNT IS HERE!!!" It was so amazing — there's a special place in my heart for that vampire.

My mom teaches small children and occasionally uses a Count Von Count puppet (from Sesame Street) when working with math/numbers. She does the voice, the accent, the whole nine yards; the kids love it.

LeAnn seems so pleased with herself that she was able to snare this dude. Like she fancies herself as the Angelina in the Angelina/Brad/Jen triangle. She's no Angie and he's no Brad, TFS!

TEAM BRANDI!

Having not watched any of these people, it seems like there's a weird, triangular dynamic in play.

I think the problem with this show is they don't seem genuine. And I often think it is wrong to speak negatively about someone's spouse in public or around children, but I can't help but think LeAnn is trying to push Brandi completely out of the picture and take over the whole Mom title from her - like Rosemary's Baby.

I am with HBO people, his hair makes him. Sooo perrttyyy

There is a world of difference between people who forget their child while heading into work—and that is something that I understand and fear—and those who run into a store for five minutes. The Weingarten piece is about people whose routines are changed in just a tiny way, while the Brooks piece is about someone who…

I couldn't even pretend I didn't love this. That was fancy-tastic.

Guys. For $2 I will kill you off on my Tumblr devoted to Jezebel commenter fanfic. Be the first one to die in the next edition of my hit series "Lesbian Shitasses 3: Problematic Lentils and Diva Cups."

OHHHH TLC the musical group, not TLC the channel. Makes much more sense.

I pretty much only know this woman through her tweets and I CANNOT STAND HER. I feel like she and Jason Biggs must sit around trying real hard all of the time. It's like when your friends are trying to become comedians/comedy writers/improv actors and everything is a chance to test out a terrible joke. WE ARE AT THE…

I know I should hate him but his self-aware douchebaggery makes me love him a little bit.

My family definitely all think I'm insane for having [the kids] in the bed and breastfeeding them for forever. I couldn't care less.

"I think that....that doesn't matter, you know? How you mean things doesn't matter."

And that would be a fair argument.