Lorde has opinions. Because she is also female, all of those opinions constitute "dissing", "hating", "throwing shade", "starting a feud", and "being a bitch". True facts.

The fact that Paltrow is trying so hard to keep this issue from coming out makes her look incredibly guilty and makes me wanna read it.

Little leather jacket boy and furry vest girl are my favorites. I'm not saying I want to steal them, but I'm also not not saying it.

Clearly what we're seeing here is the cumulative effects of shows like ANTM and What Not to Wear, given the outfits on display.

I liked the rolly kid's assessment of why all states should legalize gay marriage. What if you don't want to live in that state with tornadoes but you're a guy who wants to marry a guy?!

That little girl in the fur gilet and red top dresses so much better than I do.

I don't really think Cutie Pie/Evil Eyebrows' parents would be interesting to interview, since he pretty much has to have someone in his life who is vocally anti-gay. He's got the vocabulary where he knows the name of the issue, and he knows not to like it. I think we already know what they would say, and it would be…

<i>"I believe the children are our future..."</i>

"Justin Bieber married a guy..."

"How did they get Home Depot to approve that?"

Legal and tax advantages, big party, and to be honest I just like the idea of a codified, witnessed commitment.

On a business trip, I stayed at an uberfancy hotel that had an infinity bathtub set into the floor. It was so amazing. Here I am, 26, saddled with student-loan debt, poor and alone in a strange country, eating room-service pizza out of an infinity bathtub.

The Instagram picture is from her work? In every large office I've ever worked, you'd be told to go change or fired for something like that, if they even let you in the door.

I don't think you have to feel sorry for her to appreciate that what's happening to her is way beyond the pale and unacceptable. If you're threatening to rape and murder someone for being a horrifically insensitive twatbag, you're not exactly keeping it real for Boston, you know? That is a bag of crazy which purported…

So now I hate her and everyone attacking her.

My hypothesis that I hate everyone has yet to be disproven.

Oh no, people have expressed a completely non-binding opinion that hasn't effected his career particularly significantly!

Fuck you.

Oh no, the worst thing that can happen to someone is that they have a brief period of job uncertainty and awareness that people don't like them (for completely justified reasons). Everyone needs to be really careful to underscore the tragic suffering of Riley Cooper and get defensive on his behalf.

Fuck you.

Early November is always the worst time of year because it's when you find out that Peter King didn't twist his ankle and asphyxiate on cow shit in a corn maze somewhere.

Gov. Davis, plz.

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