“wearing too much makeup looks like a clown”

Those outfits invoke the spirits of Edina and Patsy.

Yeah, I have to agree with you on that one. Febreeze on panties sounds like a UTI waiting to happen.

Are you serious? Comply with all orders? When I was 16, a cop pulled me over in my rickity little beater car with a busted transmission and told me he wouldn't write me a bullshit ticket if I sucked his cock. I told him to fuck off and he wrote me over $500 worth of tickets for violations that didn't happen…

It’s better this way. You don’t want to have nightmares of babies in watermelons.

It’s simple: If a man gets to the door first, he better hold it open for me. If a woman gets to the door first, she better hold it open for me. If I get to the door first, you better be gracious and walk through when I hold the door open for you; not grab the door out of my hands because of some misguided thought that…

Men refusing to go through the door I opened for them is a huge pet peeve of mine. I’m short so it really peeves me when they do a reach out and grab the door over my head, expecting me to walk in under their arm. It feels violating to my personal space.

Once upon a time, I dated a guy with the last name of Bond. When we went out to dinner, waiters would sometimes ask if he wanted a “martini, shaken not stirred” when they would check his I.D. after he ordered a beer.

Thank you, Madeleine. Little Edie just brightened my day.

Countdown to pearl clutching in 5...4...3...2...1...

I know this is going to make me sound weird but you shouldn't give your dog stuff that's been in your mouth because you'll spread the plaque from your mouth to theirs. My parents are always feeding their dogs stuff they've bitten off of and their dogs have the worst teeth. My dog is 10 years old and has never had…

An Ani DiFranco one. ^_^

That's the irony of their name. I don't think any of their cabinets are actually teak, but walnut.

Go to their lookbook, then click on the item description and it says if the item is available online or in stores.

Politeness and narcissism are not mutually exclusive.

Why are the cutest dresses available online only?!

My husband does this but it's just a symptom of his A.D.D. so I can't get upset over it. He will blow through a room leaving everything half open.

My husband hates me for that same reason.

The only times I have ever felt jealous about a boyfriend having female friends, it turned out said boyfriend was having sex with said female friends. Normally, I don't feel jealous and I've dated guys I could trust and didn't mind them having female friends. My husband has female friends he hangs out with at work,…

It never dawned on me that she was "fat" to begin with. She looks to be about a size four or six, and her chest isn't very large. When I look at her, my eyes see a normal, healthy, beautiful woman. If Gina Rodriguez is fat shamed while she's skinny, what does that say about our culture?