I think you forgot your tl;dr tag

Hahahaha not at all.

Oh lawds. They're gift that keeps on giving.

Like a talented Danish Brady Bunch.

How dare she. I, like jesus, love all children; even the ones that scream and kick my shins in the grocery store while their parents stand idly by. The sound of a wailing 1 year old is music to my ears, and sometimes, when no one is looking, I like to inhale a deep whiff of whatever bodily fluids they have recently…

It means you're "mentally unstable" and by "mentally unstable" it means you more than likely made the whole thing up in your little fantasy world.

Where he got this "No doesn't necessarily mean no" attitude is surely a mystery. [jezebel.com]

Or advice from anyone with a rainbow tie..actually make that rainbow anything. Beware rainbow anything.

Chris Brown's idea of fixing things? Throw a temper tantrum and simultaneously bust a window that's not his.

Mom has sex with daughter's rapist and gives tell-all to media.

Oh please just stop it.

Ahhh. Don't be alarmed if I stare lovingly towards your forehead. I plucked my eyebrows like a meth head from 12-16 and it took forever to grow them back to somewhat-fullness.

It's from True Grit. I've been looking for places to use it in a sentence ever since the movie came out.

Technically the entire human body is self cleaning, but putting fruity smelling chemicals in a very soft, membraney area ignites a firey rage inside my loins.

The ad is kinda cute but please ladies, don't put soap in your vagina; this should be common sense.

This is literally how I feel about 90% of the female population's eyebrows. Gah! stop plucking your eyebrows they look stupid that way.

I think the main problem between 22 and 17 is the high school/college aspect. He's at a completely different stage in life even if the difference is only 5 years. But who am I to knock it.

...and it is a doozy.

ABC family is the tween/teen version of Lifetime.

Hold that thought, write it down, make a movie.