I'm technically 40. But I vote like a 25 year-old. Does that count?

What is "nature" if not the collective survival of organisms? Without mothers, no children. Without children, no mothers. Hence, Nature gives a shit.

I'm going right now to ask the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

I snap my fingers to get my cats to come over to me. That doesn't work either.

You make a valid point. We need to hear all sides. Even the sides of the stone people, who cannot speak for themselves. Because of the whole stone thing. And probably Jesus.

Mother nature: not giving a crap since forever. It's why I always get the epidural.

"In ancient Greek mythology, after the great flood, Deucalion and Pyrrha repopulated the world by scattering stones throughout the earth. From these stones emerged people; from these people grew the world. It's a myth, but its opposite is possible"

Who's to say that's a myth? I think Stone Scatter People Theory should…

I never understood why people wouldn't tip the folks who bring hot pizza to your door well. Hot pizza? YAY! Here's $5 extra, because I know your job probably sucks, they probably don't give you enough for gas, and yet you just brought me something awesome.

If that's your kink, more power to you. But those sorts of sex acts need to be negotiated in advance, not forced on some poor server without their express and continuing consent.

Because it would be gauche to *actually* shit right on the poors, but metaphorically shitting on them still isn't quite enough. Therefore, smearing feces like a fucking monkey in the zoo.

Yesss! I learned that lesson in retail. Some people simply will not admit that they were/are wrong and that you, a simple shop girl, could possibly be right. No matter how patiently you explain, no matter who else backs you up, they can't be wrong! I love watching these people tie themselves in knots of ever more…

Yeah I got that a lot in Boulder when I was working 3 jobs (nanny, a shitty job delivering subs until 3 am when I had 8 am lab and then weekends teaching a kids ski team back home) and taking 19 credit hours and working an honors thesis ... The kids who'd try to stiff me or short me would be living in frat or sorority…

I think you're laboring under the delusion that many of these men in the financial industry are more emotionally developed than a 12-year-old going through some serious trauma. Remember, this is the business that rewards/promotes the same behavior a 2-year-old would show by grabbing a toy and screaming "Mine!"

The same thing happened to a friend of mine; she was with her date among a group of better-off-than-most men and their dates. They were drunk. The waitress did nothing wrong, some altercation happened with another table. They stiffed her, saying "the restaurant will take care of her" which is the biggest line of…

EXACTLY. I pointed out to her King Soopers (the local grocery store) is just down the street.

I've come close to saying something similar to the frequent old couples we get at the place I work now in off season who work our asses off and don't tip- they all want modifications on everything, no salt, no gluten, etc.…

Her response? Not her problem as a poor college student?

I'm not sure who does it, but pretty much anyone who has had a job cleaning bathrooms has noticed that there are a lot of these mysterious shit painters.

You would be surprised how often it happens. When I was a manager several years ago in a rougher part of town, I had to petition the higher ups for certain shifts to get hazard pay and safety gear because of repeated incidences of crap all over the bathrooms and drug needles in the trash. Happened a few times a month…

The only time I've seen this behavior happen was with a student who was going through some pretty severe trauma outside of school. That child was also 12. Not a 30-to-60-something financial executive at one of the most powerful banks in the world.