NEWSWIRE: Betty White Loses Arm

Star Wipe! Star Wipe!

If I bleed, you bleed.

I remember a kid doing this at a school talent show. Not only was it boring to watch, but he continuously turned his back to the audience while he preformed his "tricks" (i.e: spelling OHIO on a Rubik's Cube).

In the opening credits, they could turn the 3 in "13" into the ass of a boy diving sideways into the lake.

If it makes you feel any better, it'll probably be a trilogy.

The Social Old Testament and Koran Network?

I'd rather watch that Sam Elliot movie, Lifeguard.

Man, he's really rockin' the bat-beater.

Though I'm sure she didn't mind the paycheck, she probably feels it would further her career by distancing herself from a shit movie that obviously hasn't aged well.

Who's the more talented one?

That seems to be the #1 excuse when people have a Michael Bay movie in their collection.

42 (1980) dollars worth of Chinese food could wipe out the hunger crisis in Zambia.

But if they knew they'd end up bankrupt, why did it matter how many people called?

I'm actually not a teen or a father, I just have a rather juvenile sense of dad humor.

Teen Dad's Summer Reading List

Who? Who?

*throws fur coat out the window*

"Now paint ze Heil!"

It gets better.