Living is easy with eyes closed.

Sounds like another terrific adventure from the minds of Marvel.

Shanks for nothin'.

Hey, that's what killed my grandpa when he was a baby.

:(

*holds two knives*

Nobody likes Bill.

Well, excuse me viewer, Mr. TruthSayer
What is wrong with what we’re doing?
We just like to dance in our goatskin pants
Around this ancient ruin

He started from the bottom and he put it on top,
Then he started in the middle and he put it on top,
Till someone knocked it over, that's when he stopped,
But he can start all over putting blocks on top

Garry Marshall slept with The Onion. I've finally figured out Old-Person Smell.

This is why I'm afraid to adopt a cat from my local SPCA. They insist on posting your name and photo of you snuggling with it on their Facebook page. I am a single, professional, thirty-something male living in a small town and I cannot bear to have anyone else know how desperate I am for companionship in my private…

Gervais' says "I have a heart condition," but Kutcher's is straight-out asking for it.

Sounds Risky.

Oh, well a lot of the stars from the 00's - they were not as hygienic as they appeared on TV. Yeah, you can take "Maverick" for example.

…except this.

Nobody puts Baby in a discussion corner.

And Popeye Cigarettes are part of a complete breakfast.

Remember to always get a parent, guardian or child sailor's permission before going online.

Lookie here. I can dig grease 'n chompin' on some buns and draggin' through the garden.

*drops change all over the floor*