Goodell went on to say the updated suspension policy will be known as the "OH GODDAMMIT WILL EVERYONE JUST QUIET THE FUCK DOWN FOR MINUTE AND LET ME THINK ABOUT HOW BEST TO HANDLE THE VOCIFEROUS FALLOUT FROM THIS STUPID FUCKING HEADACHE ALREADY" rule.

Right (not a Browns fan but...) you remember that movie "She's All That"? Cute -ish but dorky girl gets makeover when she starts dating Freddie Prinze Jnr. and once she ditches the glasses and dungarees she becomes insanely hot, cool, Prom Queen, gets into Harvard and is dating the hottest guy in school? I'm figuring…

A few minutes later, John From Cincinnati called, but no one could tell what the fuck he was talking about, so everyone changed the station.

The NFL is putting their heads in the sand about it, which is why you found a video titled "Featured - Was Manning Pass a Lateral" showing the play in question on an NFL website.

Great review, but I'm confused as to why you'd use a stock image of the Ferguson Police Department for it.

Final note: Turns out your former All-Pro safety is an alleged serial rapist. So that's fun.

Dont let Bono hear about that one

Actually, they can't, unless they are willing to self-report a violation for "impermissible fecal delicacies"

As a Jets fan, those handjobs sound pretty good.

More accurately, the William Moore hit is a spinebuster and not a powerbomb. Dammit, what ever happened to fact-checking?!

I applaud your use of off the wall analogies. I just wish i could place one of them and empathize with your statement. I think if you would have sad. "Bryce Bad! Mike Trout Good! Me no like Bryce! Bryce Is Dickhead" That you would have gotten your point across more clearly.

I haven't watched the video but I suspect that Bates did something to provoke it.

So a guy asks to take your picture free of charge and you don't find that odd......Was this picture maybe of her head of up ass? That's just not a good idea for any woman. Dudes are horny, I know, I'm a dude. If we ever offer to take pics free of charge, it's to put into the spank bank.

Paskewich claims that request triggered a series of conference calls with HR, including Health Rosenthal, senior manager of employee relations, and Donna Hricisko, director of human relations, in which Paskewich told them of her objections.

You are for counting how many words his post was.

What? The varsity team for which you starred at quarterback lost a nail-biter against a T.C. Williams team led by Joe Montana, one comprised of impeccably trained gorillas and coached by a super-computer created by an advanced race of aliens, you say?

What?! A Disney sports movie fudging the facts?! Next, you're gonna tell me that the 1988 Jamaican bobsled team was NOT anchored by guys named Sanka Coffie and Yul Brenner.

"Upon seeing this, ESPN executives immediately set upon rectifying the situation: Terminating Beadle and apologizing to Smith and Bayless for any offense her comments may have caused."

It's nice to finally see the wife of a Raven drag their husband into something for once.

You guys, I literally think I have a problem.