Feels like America just won the World Cup.

We can’t bust heads like we used to, but we have our ways. One trick is to tell ‘em stories that don’t go anywhere - like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my…

Pff, that’s hardly the first time a 12-year career has culminated in a win over Gravity.

Let’s not blame the managing editor and the deputy editor. After all, it was a school night.

The 76ers: Selling their fans a horse by taking them to a shit stained barn and telling them “With all that shit, there’s gotta be a pony in there somewhere.”

Michael Bay: [cums]

Happy Mother’s Day, Mrs. Simmons!

“He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man”

#34 with the dagger for Atlanta in MLB and NBA today.

“I will say my darkest Clipper moment—nobody knew about this—was that I thought about committing suicide at least 10 to 15 times”

Anyway, Ultron is born and “murders” Jarvis

Man, he’s gonna be pissed when someone reads this article to him.

Hmmmm....do I...avoid Fox Sports for being the kind of place that employs Clay Travis and publishes shit like “How To Land A Husband At The Masters”? Or do I swear allegiance to Fox Sports for being the kind of place that employs Katie Nolan and tears down shit like “How To Land A Husband At The Masters”?

So he got married?

All those years of getting yelled at by Russell Westbrook really numbed Sefolosha’s reaction time to requests from authority figures.

Now I’ll never be able to bounce my grandson on my knee, tell him about Kentucky’s magical season and try to explain to him what the word “vacated” means.

Nerve of this guy, making jokes

Almost there...

I guess you could just say, "Like jets fans" and end with this face

oh not at all, its usually how I end up when the wife and I head to swingers clubs.