He would have Reservations.

No way that’s Jeter’s lineup. It’s got the actress with the most range at short.

Don’t worry, Utah. You had him at “Salt."

“The ‘cool places’ become totally overrun with jabronis because they are so limited.”

To be fair, when Curry is hot I lose my shit as well.

Adam LaRoche would like to have a word with you.

If he’d been a pediatrician instead of a basketball player, I wonder what we’d call him. Dr. Livingston, I presume.

Did I recreate that scene fifty times when I was a teenager? You know I did.

Except the EWG was proven as a fraud last year. Its more based on the we hate GMO world than science. I would much rather have scientists than politicans evaluate my suncare line.

3. Change our team name.

I feel sorry for the coach that has to say “start Jakin off in the first period!”

Laugh it up, Petchesky. Some people said I’d never make it with the name “chid,” and look at me now! Plenty of free time, sleeping rent-free on a queen Aerobed in a 1,000 sq. foot basement, getting tens of Kinja stars a day!

I pull sick moves like this in 2k like every day. You should see some of the teams I’ve assembled. Any league execs looking for a good GM or even just some high end consulting, PM me.

At least they got a QB that’s ready to take on the whole Empire by himself.

I’d criticize school staff for not seeing through the ruse, but in all fairness, nobody’s ever met a 30-year-old from South Sudan.

“And that requizission I put in for spell check 9 years ago has never been honered. This is intolorabel.”

He definitely looks in perfect form to lose to the Warriors in 5.

Manziel says he and Gordon are testing themselves and staying positive.

Tyson: Congrats, University of Cincinnati!