Ben Carson had me wondering if brain surgery was actually all that hard.

none of you dudes sleep au natural.?..naked is best in my opinion

I doubt Adam Silver has that authority.

Oh, thank god. I only read the headline. I’m done here.

Before you ever start drinking, make sure you know exactly how many you’re going to have

I think the mane reason is because of the lion’s pride.

... so much haight.

And here I thought I’d have to wait until the game to see a statue repeatedly knocked over.

The 294 people who saw this were deeply moved.

This is why people hate soccer. Seriously, nobody even touched them.

TOM BRADY DEFLATED THE FOOTBALLS AND PEYTON MANNING DID PEDS AND RUSSELL WILSON HAS NEVER HAD SEX AND CAM NEWTON STILL HAS THAT FUCKING LAPTOP SOMEWHERE AND ANDY REID IS ACTUALLY TWO ANDY REIDS WEARING AN ANDY REID SKIN SUIT AND BRUCE ARIANS AND SAMUEL L. JACKSON GO HAT SHOPPING TOGETHER AND TIM TEBOW IS BEING…

As a former delivery driver for several years in the 90's...Fuck you for making me risk life and limb for your $5.99 plain pie and offering me a whole dollar for my efforts. I’d rather go home with no money. Man up and open a can of soup.

There should be a special state law that says if you make a delivery guy deliver without tipping him in the middle of a storm, he should legally be able to throw you down the stairs. The higher up you live, the more steps he gets to use.

For one thing, the cop’s shooting percentage would be sky-high.

#WhiteLivesCantJump

Overtime solution I heard recently: Both teams get the ball at the same time from the opponent’s 20 yard line. Clock starts and the first team to score wins. 44 players on the field! Violence on both ends at all times! The inevitability of the NFL going to a Royal Rumble solution for overtime is finally here!

He was a dynamic offensive threat that changed the National Football League and inspired guys like Aaron Hernandez and Rae Carruth. RIP.

Chip Kelly’s system is a natural fit for them. The 49ers offense is already one of the quickest in the league at getting on and off the field.

I agree, and so do the other people I’ve seen it seventeen times with.