The game actually only lasted a few hours; it just felt like it took four days.

Well yeah, but you just use it to keep the trunk lid closed.

But you'll notice a crucial difference in that video and Messi today- the lack of hair. You can't be a lion(el) without the mane.

It's not as bad as the Jills rule book ,which promises a "Red Wedding" for any cheerleader who doesn't follow the hygienic guidelines.

It's faux-shock for people who still giggle at unsubtle menstruation and poop jokes.

You were just panting at the chance to make a pun thread, weren't you?

Well, he's alive, isn't he? What more do you want?

To hell with your tyrannical dictation leveled at us, the unwashed masses. Let the people decide what is the greatest dip!

I would give you a star, but you're at the perfect number right now.

"Yup, that's definitely a cataract."

I think this dispute can only be solved by having a drunken fistfight in the parking lot of a stadium.

Well buddy, you own this thread, hook, line, and sinker.

No. Is he the Brazilian mascot for McDonald's?

I wouldn't worry too much about this movie breeding new masochists; after five minutes of watching this film, I was looking for the nearest Christmas ribbon to hang myself with.

But where will I be able to find pornography now?

I hope he at least takes a crack at it.

So you're saying he pulled up a little bit short?

A Schinao Man invites the kids to practice but has the bus drop them off in the middle of nowhere and drive off because a true Schiano Man finds a way, damnit.

I find it very insulting that just because Iowa was one of the first states to legalize gay marriage that it's assumed the regional sport is gay sex.