From the ashes, they will rise.

Seeing as I can only be brought to completion by scorching hot takes, this should be labeled NSFW.

Lush grass on the tootsies is pretty nice.

I prefer the grammaticality correct u’r

Kudos to whoever put the Highland Park police station in the middle of Johnny’s pub crawl route.

Even when it comes to thrombin, Bosh is always a pro.

Playoffs are exciting because they’re an elimination tournament. The EPL has an elimination tournament: It’s called the FA Cup, it features like 700 teams from every level of soccer in the UK, and winning this tournament is a separate achievement from winning the league.

+1 cry for help

He just forgot to throw the toaster in first.

That’s not a celebration, that’s a suicide attempt.

I'd rather drown than be a Brown.

Why not? The Browns had Jim Brown, and the Bills have like six guys on their roster named “Williams.”

If the Vikings are able to field an ACTUAL Viking, the Bears should be able to field an actual Bear.

9? Johnny Depp starred in “The Ninth Gate” with Emmanuelle Seigner, who is married to Roman Polanski. Roman Polanski’s parents were sent to Nazi concentration camps. The German word for “no” is “nein”. I’m not saying the St. Louis Cardinals are a buncha Nazis, I’m just saying the evidence points in that direction.

I definitely wouldn’t mind 90 or so servings.

“You miss 100% of the rapes you don’t attempt”

OK, but in fairness, there were many better and more prolific rapists.