LUPITA FOREVER, Y'ALL.

They could certainly offer her a decent finder's fee.

You guys, I've been waiting all week for this open thread, because I've been feeling stuck and alone and like nothing will ever change for me. But yesterday I submitted an application (for another retail job, but this one is for big bookstore chain and therefore has more potential for raises/promotions than my 4…

A raccoon once stole my husbands sweatshirt out of his lap in a park and they then engage in an ill-advised game of tug of war while I yelled "just let him have it!" Ah, nature.

That's one of those things, like turning into a skid, that is terrifying in the moment but has an easy to understand solution. I think that even when people know these things, the panic that you feel when it's happening overtakes you and it's hard to remember how to get out of the situation.

"Flying away on a wing with my swo-ooord,

Most of the pictures of Aaron Paul and his wife make it look like he adores her and she's so not into it. It makes me sad. I'LL TAKE HIM AND LOOK HAPPY TO BE WITH HIM IN PICTURES!!!!

I have tried in vain many times to describe what the canyons is about to people who have not seen it. Thank you Callie for the perfect summary: nudity and unsuccessful attempts at facial expressions.

Wow, I would think someone named Mister Fisterr would be classy and debonair. But you've proven me wrong.

Meeeeee! Stevie + AHS is perfection.

I don't know what Shia's been yammering on about for weeks, but I can safely say it's time he stop.

I have a friend who SWEARS by the HCG diet, and so I asked her how it works. In her mind, the way it works is you take these amazing magic droplets and follow the diet and the drops make your fat melt away. In reality, the diet you follow is literally 500 calories a day, and the pills are some kind of placebo that…

Eh, it all tastes the same after the eighth glass.

Whatever. I'm drinking Malbec. Right here, right now. I'm miserable, contemplating a divorce after a short marriage (and long partnership), dressed in black, playing Jeff Buckley and reading Faust between interneting my sorrows away. MALBEC forever.

Oh, Stacy London. You are missing the damn point, you half-wit.

We certainly do. Sometimes we contemplate it quickly, sometimes in a leisurely fashion. Sometimes we're naked in the tub. Contemplating hard.

My, these straight men sure do spend a lot of their time contemplating gay sex.

with the caveat that i've seen approximately 10% of a single sheen-era 2.5 men, if sheen didn't want anyone to vomit all over "his" show, maybe he shouldn't have gone bat shit crazy and gotten himself fired.

Write more about stuff like this, because, right now, I basically feel like the best and smartest parent ever. #setthebarlow

My only complaint about that video clip of Lupita Nyong'o and her little brother is that it was too. damn. short. Very refreshing, though, for a red carpet event.