You'll put your eye out, kid.

I imagine that was what the email was for. Reminding them to use landscape.

Going a little fast there, buddy. Where’s the fire? *Points back at police officer’s car.

delivered pizza

I would have immediately drank the entire mini-bottle of gin and responded with “I’m going to need more than one mini-bottle if you expect me to make it through this flight.”

So incredible thing happened twice?

The who’s in the what now?

All of your lane are belong to me.

“I’m 20, just dropped out of St. John’s University, have a chinstrap beard, wear embellished jeans with Air Jordans, and the IT consulting firm that my Russian-born parents founded just scored a huge contract with the City. What car should i buy?”

Not shown: All the stuff needed to keep the Porsche 356 on the road.

Spirit of Eggstacy

Incorrect language use. You wouldn’t allow that testimony to be entered into evidence. Something doesn’t get “into” testimony.

Source: I’m also a lawyer.

I was the passenger! I’m not that coordinated to quickly snap pictures with my phone while driving.

To me tailgating in heavy, slow moving traffic is the only acceptable tailgating. It’s a defensive measure to keep the lane skippers from jumping in front of you.  Once the traffic opens up and you get closer to the speed limit, the 2-3 second rule should once more apply. 

Keep the Ford and use the 10k to buy a commuter car for the job you’re going to take to keep the farm away from the sheriff’s sale.

Ford and Chevy’s front ends come together like Voltron to form a perfect advertisement for the Ram.

...are you having a stroke?

You are going to be so embarrassed when you figure it out.

These guys may be the only team defeated by the Magic all year. 

... just how big of a mallet are we talking?