lol

Apparently there are two. Their names are Alyssa and Kaitlin.

The irony of being body shamed by ‘Big government’

three cheers for the monty python reference. well played.

Yes, Always be afraid. That should be your default setting. Whether you are traveling to Estonia or checking your mail let fear hold & caress you in it’s icy grip.

Are they trying to say that even though I am not hot enough to get sold into white sex slavery I may still get robbed? Im so confused...

Are these tweets all based on Breaking Bad plot points? #walterandjesse’seuropeanvacation

Today’s not April 1st, right? RIGHT? Because Donald Trump is calling for punishing women who get abortions to be punished, and now the state department is all “slow your roll horse face, he’s just into your American money.”

I cannot WAIT to hear their responses to the backlash.

If you’re a six in Europe then times that by 2, plus 32....so in America you’re a 44!

That’s my concern. “Goddamn it, Ugly Janet got her kidney cut out in Chechnya. Again. We really need to warn people about this.”

They forgot the bits about wearing clean underwear and looking both ways before you cross the street.

That’s a cruel way to say I’m universally hideous to everyone.

Burt’s a riot right now.

easy test: go abroad, find out if you get ensnared in a drug trafficking ring or not.

Now I’m confused because Europe uses the metric system; maybe I’m only a 6 in America, but it converts to a 10 overseas?

Good news for all the hotties out there, who, presumably, are at no risk of being murdered while abroad.

Real Talk: The tension in the locker room isn’t because him teammates are upset he leaked the tape...it’s because they’re worried he’ll leak one of them confessing to cheating too.

I find it hilarious that they’re all up in arms about not being able to trust him now that he released this video. Like, we can’t trust the guy who released a video of his friend confessing to cheating, but we can totally trust the guy who cheats on a woman he’s about to vow to love and honor for the rest of his life.

Locker room culture is such bullshit. Team Russell on this one.