Our Team Cat brethren are sure to join us in our stance that it is our sacred pet duty to interfere with all human relationships within our sphere of influence.

Joke’s on them - we have inside knowledge that Rollo befriended the contractor and now has ways of getting into those cabinets without his owners even knowing. Turns out contractors are suckers for waggy tails and big brown eyes.

We don’t flame - we love you! We just want pets and rubs. And oh, hey if you have any bacon or cheese or really just about anything vaguely resembling food, we’re into that too....

It’s okay. You can pet us until you feel better.

THESE ARE ALSO EXCELLENT OPTIONS

SAME

QUICK, FRIEND, FIND THE STINKIEST PART OF THE SIDEWALK AND ROLL AROUND ON IT!!!!

We are regrouping and finding new strategies. And we have had a few key victories - doge, guilty dog videos, just to name a few.

This is a good dog. I bet his/her butthole smells AMAZING.

SLANDEROUS LIES

Vacuum cleaners are a bipartisan issue. Our cat brethren surely stand with us in opposition of these demonic devices which pose a serious and ceaseless threat to both human and animal alike.

Seems about right to us.

*wag wag wag wag wag wag wag*

We’re MSCE certified! Let’s just say Beggin Strips were involved.

KITTIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ACCURATE

To any and all humans considering switching their allegiance as a result of this latest crisis, we at Team Dog would like to remind you how much we love all humans. Like, seriously, LOVE. The most important thing in the world to us dogs is....

Once again, preposterous allegations from Team Cat. When will Team Cat speak out against their increasingly radicalized base?