Yeah, mostly what I learned from this article is that our sportswriters are the fucking worst.

Dozen’t matter, made bets.

Caveat: generations are bullshit. That said, the first cohort of millennials was born in 1982, because that’s the group that turned 18 in the year 2000.

That’s because there’s a high level of overlap between “east coast executives,” “older people,” and “people who think golf is a sport.”

Stop trying to make #ThatsCub happen, it isn’t going to happen.

Mike Pence prefers to get all up in a woman’s vagina from a proper, legislative distance.

Yes, but the piece is by a columnist, a media figure who at least in theory ought to have a passing acquaintance with reality.

I never knew I wanted to see Skip Bayless murdered on live television until now. Though, in a way, I think I always suspected I did.

Nobody needed that zoomed. Not a goddamn body.

Get the fuck out.

“You gotta hand it to those dolphins, they just wanted it more.”

This is the progressive slant on the “I’m a feminist if that helps me fuck you” pitch. I too have principles that I value deeply if and only if they help me get what I want.

Don’t forget milk play!

I think wolves are very familiar with the concept of “a neck” as “a thing you bite that makes the neck’s owner die.”

Americans liking white foreigners and their culture has been a thing since we stopped hating on the Italians and the Irish.

That guy is the fucking worst, my life only improved once I stopped reading the dreck he puts out.

Otherwise known as “a Royale of weed.”

Dellavedova’s Spastic Pass is by the same developer, I believe.

What? No. It’s fucking terrible, get the fuck out of here.