Seriously.

The bear with 1000 girlfriends.

I feel like this is an invitation to look at the long history of “passing,” who gets to do it and who doesn’t. In 2015, white women are trying to pass as black! Progress!

Not Dracula, idiot.

Classic Robben approach is actually “fall down in the box and whine, hope for penalty.”

So, before you get too angry—this is a rule BECAUSE OF Pat Venditte, designed to prevent this situation, otherwise known as an 8-minute delay of game as switch-hitter and switch-pitcher constantly switch:

What?

The version we played with my friends was called “Captain America” and was basically that plus you got a trash can lid to use as a shield. Nothing makes you feel more badass than blocking a flaming missile with a trash can lid and returning fire.

I was going to say, “I award this performance 3/5 bagpipes.”

Hey, let me chime in on this point. I’m one of those people, and I work in progressive politics. There is an aspect to the way men around me use feminism that I find really offputting: “I’m a feminist, so hop on my dick.” I think I’d rather be judged by the way I treat women around me than the words I use to label…

South Korea: Funny Baseball Hijinks

So I re-read the Bible every few years because it's a great book full of hilarious doings and transpirings (and expirings). But this part of the Gospels always struck me as a bit shady. Like, if I were trying to keep a movement together after its main leader had been publicly killed, I might be all, "yeah, I saw him,…

Though, honestly, not much weirder than Mormonism.

YES OH MY GOD.

"She was one of them off-speed bitches." —Chris Brown

She read the grave markers! She was askin' for it!

I said this the last time Kotaku wrote about this game: the reason we have wizards and fireballs is that nothing feels heroic about dying of dysentery or an infected wound.

Whatever, man. I salute any human being willing to challenge Pancho Villa and Emiliano Zapata in the moustachio department. Espinosa Vive!

I'm not sure I agree with the concept of "over-fucking." That said, under-fucking someone is definitely a thing, so I guess it could go the other way too.