As a Jersey boy from Roosevelt I was super confused by this headline. I assumed there was a "Jersey Retirement" in Roosevelt, which usually results in multiple stab wounds.

Speaking for ALL MEN EVERYWHERE, we prefer round trip tickets to pound town.

Yeah, dude. I agree. But we don't punish effective cheating. We punish cheating.

Classic God.

To be fair, a lot of humans on this earth are motivated by the same feeling.

Being bitten by ants, having maggots crawl on me, and smelling a week's worth of 11 people's wipe was a sensual experience I'll not soon forget.

The real test is when the two conflict:

Turkey, or as my people call it, "worse chicken."

That may be the most concentrated asshole/pixel ratio the nation has ever seen.

As a guy, I want to thank you for this article. I've never dealt with the kind of silencing and shaming that these women dealt with as a result of their decision to come forward. I probably never will. But having that process explained in all its particulars is enlightening and appalling. Reading about the lawyer who…

I really wish those were the names of the Giants' players. I would hate myself a little less if I rooted for Elon Mangggg and Domino Ranchers-Cromagnon every week. Or at least I'd laugh a little more instead of swearing. Larry Donnell losing his FF matchup because he failed to start himself is the perfect metaphor for…

As a man, I'd like to point out that it takes effort to avoid having a beard, and baseball players are the laziest athletes.

You must be at least this white to spike the football.

Swims, drinks, and talks like a fish. Must be a fish.

Because you don't always translate things literally. Both are correct, but Alejandro's translation is more concise and to the point. It's not like we're translating Nabokov here. Just Pedro. Though, technically, it's "these are not situations where you must go out." English doesn't have a good equivalent for the…

I feel you, bro. How dare the talented and insightful get access to an education they can't afford! And how DARE she feel anything but slavish gratitude to the masters who granted her the opportunity to better herself beyond what you suppose her parents income would allow!* If there's one thing America is all about,…

Also, they're the sissiest of the Princeton NJ elite prep schools.

In the eyes of the White Man, the Seminole still hold the league record for consecutive "unsportsmanlike conduct" penalties.

I agreed with everything Olbermann said, but he leads all networks in the "Messenger Most Likely To Be Shot" category. I have it on good authority that Knoblauch was aiming for him, not his mom.