Fitting that the naming rights go to a rental car company, since every public Dollar Hertz the Budget.

Remember when Pete Carroll said Mark Sanchez wasn’t ready for the NFL and shouldn’t leave school? I know the situation is different, but the criticism the coach will hear will be similar.

I’d ask someone to explain to me why this is funny, but I’m afraid that question assumes too much.

I actually started by doing an image search for ASU cheerleaders in face paint (or at least that’s what I’ll tell the IT guy). The image of the tubes of face paint on the store’s site came up in the search results and I thought, “Oh, this can’t be a thing.” And it was.

At 6’7”, Graham towers over most safeties and db’s. (I seriously checked for a line like this in the article to see if maybe Tom was trolling....)

Graham is “going to explode” and “he’s there to jet past linebackers . . . .”

I guess they won’t sell a lot of this “officially licensed” ASU Sun Devil face paint.....

Someday, somehow, Roger Goodell will find a way to suspend her.

Nah—just Padre pride. (nope, that’s not really a thing....)

I hadn’t read the Mark Davis thing yet, so thanks for pointing it out. As for Albert, I think he’s been killing it ever since promising to throw his keys in the river 11 months ago if the Lakers didn’t start 0 - 5.

Recently, Albert, your stuff has been especially great. Whether it’s your insightful review of Jonathan Franzen or that lovely takedown you did of Kim Davis, you’ve made me stop and think. This tribute to the Dodgers, for instance, has me thinking about unfollowing Albert Burneko.

Is this the same company that, a few years back, ran ads during Jim Rome’s radio show featuring a (weak) Jim Rome impersonator?

Afterward, the mascot points to her and then points to the field. Tom seems to think (as do I) that she was picked on because she wasn’t watching the game.

Ah yes, I remember the “noisy withdrawal” from law school. Doesn’t sound any less sexual now than it did then....

Couldn’t he just say nothing? He has no obligation to hold a press conference when he terminates his representation. He has no obligation to explain publicly the circumstances under which he is ethically able to withdraw.

Came here for a scalping joke. Thanks.

Dude, you can’t block bill that shit.

“Mets GM Sandy Alderson was the first to ” . . . become involved?

I was in Denver for work last month, so I went to a game. Hawkins pitched an inning. I realized that was the last time I’d ever see a player my age in a big league game.

This is great, but it needs lots of curse words and self-abuse to be accurate.