But for several, the answer to their problems is simply a cup of Joe.

Counterpoint: You can buy glass by the case for <$2 and keep them forever,* thus not generating a whole bunch of trash. 

Counterpoint: You can buy glass by the case for <$2 and keep them forever,* thus not generating a whole bunch of…

Just to cover my bases, if you see the Booger Mobile for sale on Craigslist, please let us know at tips@deadspin.com

• FELL OFF TOILET, FELL ONTO A MOUSE TRAP, TRAP CLOSED ON PENIS

This should make for a spicy Jaguars Junction this week...

Hit menopause. *rimshot*

This is probably just God’s way of reminding us that Brian Kelly sent a kid up on a scissor lift in 50 mph winds and got him killed.

I’ve seen Deadspin compared to a lot of things in my day, but Megan’s dad comparing it to People is the most brutal assessment yet. 

Here is a picture of my cat in a necktie. Discuss.

It was actually a hamstring, but you’re pretty close.

Bullshit

Once again, what truly sets Big Ben apart is a massive grey area.

I don’t think Ben Roethlisberger deserves to be in the Hall of Fame, so much as he’ll force his way in, whether we like it or not. 

In before the Musk fanboys find this in their google searches and clog the greys.

Still only the 2nd most impressive rise from the dead today:

I have to believe these people taste worse than regular people. Just fat and spray tan. 

Why have we not yet eaten the rich? 

Holy shit, if you can’t trust football coaches & Catholic priests these days who can you trust?

Thank you.