No

Bruce Arians said on Sirius today that he had to get his stomach pumped twice when he was younger from drinking paint. That’s something.

The NFL: Football is Family

Sounds like the job for a marine biologist

Making fun of his weight is just picking low hanging fruit, which Christie would never touch, unless it’s covered in chocolate or filling a pie; because he’s a fatty fatty 2x4, can’t fit through the kitchen door.

PMT is the number 1 sports podcast for a reason. It’s consitently hilarious and very reliably released.

To be fair, those stigmata wounds in his hands open easily.

Counterpoint: she and her husband are doing some pretty fucked up things re: the charter school their kids go to.

Ballsy move, being the only guy in the stadium.

I want to get inside Ellie from Brooklyn’s head. She’s got some hot existential takes - “the basis of our lives is our beliefs” and “People don’t live their lives on an ideological wavelength” - and decides, on September 12th, to call into Mike and the Mad Dog to share them.

Condom Prolongs Rubber Match

Sometimes when I see ridiculous commercials, I try to imagine what that pitch meeting must have been like, and I feel like the phrase “protest is the new brunch” was uttered in this one.

Yup, definitely the cover for the next “A Gronking to Remember” book.

If Mark Davis doesn’t want fans to be overwhelmed at the new stadium, he should insist on a simple bowl design.

My parents wrote a book called, “My Son May Be Ty Cobb”, on a count of the fact I was always chokin folks and slappin around crippled fans.

Unions are great and all but I for one believe that all employees should have the right to marry and it isn’t the government’s job to say who can and who can’t.

Fucking hipster. “Big deal. I’ve seen better. I saw a vastly superior catch made by a Vietnamese immigrant during a stick ball game while I was traveling abroad in Andorra. It was at night as the sun set over the Mediterranean Sea. Only three of us saw it, myself and this deaf mute couple who were teaching me Moorish…

Webber tried to take a timeout to complain about the call.

Later in the show he gave the edge to Maryland because he remains convinced that Len Bias is a top draft prospect who will probably be taken #1 by the New Orleans Jazz, who, coincidentally, lost tonight in a nail-biter to the Montreal Expos.