Wow. I really wish I hadn’t clicked on that. Jesus christ...

I’m pretty sure The Players Tribune already has a monopoly on butt eating.

This won’t last. Eventually, he’ll slip on a loose baseball and lose those overly tight tendons.

Even if he can’t play his history of traveling around the world, drinking and raping, should serve him well is he decides to become an actual pirate.

Is the irony lost on anyone that in the song Chris Brown is using the N-word because he’s actually Lil Dicky trapped in his body (a la The Hot Chick) and now that he’s black he wants to use it?

“I don’t see why this should be an issue about privilege. Also, take it easy on me.”

That’s an icy hot take.

Anne was a great girl. Hopefully she would have been a Bumbler.

Okay, now he’s ready to run for president.

because free agency is a reward for toiling for 5-10 years being RIDICULOUSLY underpaid.

This is a really bad look for Sager, so I guess he really did die as he lived.

Sager family at the courthouse:

HMMMMMM

She said “fucking retar-”, I believe.

I dōn’t sēē whāt thē prōblēm īs?

I heard he has a Slim Jim on hand at all times to act as an edible stylus.

I can’t even imagine how he puts pants on.

If I had to guess, too chunky to be coke. I’d bet it’s crushed percs. Plenty of access to them in a locker room.

The only statue in Baltimore that could use more protection is Joe Flacco.

Or maybe one of the people ray Lewis killed