Well I guess you can get a decent amount of exercise climbing on and off the operating table at your plastic surgeon's office.

If I had the money that Louis CK has made from oh, I don’t know...like ONE of his standup specials? I’d be set for life without ever having to work again. I don’t feel sorry for celebrities who have money trouble unless it’s like a TLC-esque exploitation sitaution. I especially don’t feel sorry for this shitstain.…

Bieber and Baldwin are swimming in money, so why do they get their hair dye from the dollar store? 

I think the most worrisome part here is that the powers that be still seem to be completely dadgum ignorant. How could they not do a routine social media background check, and see that, oh hey, this new CEO believes the horseshiz that kneeling during the anthem is a giant middle foam finger to our armed forces. I’m…

The difference here is that Styles’ floral suits are hideous while Chalamet’s is not. I’m still not 100% sold on both the pants and the jacket being painted, but if you did just the jacket with a solid pant (and something better than that stupid v-neck T), I think it would be stunning. That’s a look I like. I thought…

I wish for a different boot, but otherwise the ensemble is lovely!  

I can’t wait until Timothee hits the Glitter Pussy Bow Blouse phase:

Love the suit but the v-neck t-shirt is gross.

Let’s taco bout how warm that looks. Might get a bit clammy, though.

Did you try reading the labial?

I’m just here to support your knowledge of my neighborhood hotel’s monthly rates.

Oh here we go again, you in every Johnny depp article sticking up for the abuser and bashing Amber. So transparently desperate.

“I do not envy Davidson an emergency New York apartment search, so if you have any tips for him re: open rooms”

What is with his tongue being out in all the photos??  Ick!

Not that he learned. Per a very creepy interview in British GQ he got a tattoo of his snickname for Amber Heard, “Slim”, that he since changed to “Scum”. (coz he’s a real charmer)

Devastated that these kids had to break up for me to be introduced to this incredible couple name. I could have been calling them Grandson all along??

This breakup is to Cosmo what the Taylor Swift Get Out the Vote tweet was to Jezebel!

The shame that I must bear is that I am tempted to click each one of these links and read them in full.

There should be an equivalent dating rule about acquiring a new pet to agreeing to be a wedding date. If the lifespan of the pet is significantly longer than you’ve been together, maybe you shouldn’t be committing to co-ownership of it.

PIGGY SMALLS!