Well this is Jezebel, where the writers are contractually obligated to stan for Cardi B and rip on Taylor at every possible opportunity. 

I’m at an age (30) where my friends are starting to get divorced. I know this doesn’t make sense and reflects poorly on me, but I’m sad and bitter that they’ve managed to make it through an entire marriage alreadyand I’m so fucking single and feel like I will be forever.

All I want for Christmas is to be able to see the gd embedded Instagram posts on mobile. 

Cool, so he’s one of those “I couldn’t possibly fathom respecting women as people until I had a daughter” types. Fire. 

Who is this “we” you’re talking about?

I think as long as you’re not parenting that hungover on a regular basis, your kid is going to be just fine. One day of a less-than-fully-engaged parent is not going to do any lasting damage.

When is Jezebel’s contract to promote Cardi B going to expire? Because this shit is getting real old.

That’s a cute picture of Harry & Meghan for wedding album filler, but who wants a Christmas card where you only see the backs of the subjects’ heads?

Not at all sly, though. It’s great and I love it, don’t get me wrong. But it’s not at all subtle.

I fucking love it. But hot pink is my power color. I feel so good when I wear hot pink.

Yeah, that part I get. I’m just thinking that wouldn’t you assume it was from the same time having sex? What would clue you in that the two eggs could have been fertilized at different times?

How would you they have two different fathers? Wouldn’t you assume it was one set of twins fathered by the same man, even if you weren’t exactly sure which man?

Well, Ted Stevens has been dead for 8 years, so you don’t have to worry about him anymore. And he lost his last election, so Congress has been without Uncle Ted for almost 9 years, actually.

I’m confused, are you pro-Aziz here? Because neither his reputation nor his life have been ruined . . .

Yep, that’s literally the only benefit. Guess you don’t need it!

Nothing you and your husband do will ever get her to change her behavior, and trying to do so is only going to drive everybody crazy. Just focus on your own reactions; that’s all you can control.

Fairytale of New York

BOBBY! I missed you.

You need to start talking to different people.

You’re not helping if you’re excusing everybody who’s not an all out, hood wearing member of the KKK. Racist is racist.