I want to be a Do something bitch and tell my boss to go f*** themselves. I hope lemon water will help.

I was pumping at a rest stop the other day, and saw a couple roll up and change their kid on the outdoor picnic tables. I gave them a fucking filthy look (for being fucking filthy - there was a changing table in the bathroom). I could see the ‘you don’t understaaaand’ parental indignation face start. Then they saw the…

Omg Lazy Susan. I hate hate hate crotchety regulars. I already know your damn ticks. I already know what you’re going to ask for. One customer who thought he was a charming, grouchy old man (wrong, everyone there hated the shit out of serving your lonely ass) tried to bitch at me for bringing out his ALWAYS ALWAYS…

I wrap it up and hand it over. A few minutes later, he comes back and says, “You forgot the chicken salad on my sandwich!”

I saw this post and thought “oh my god, someone else has this exact pie bird! How ridiculous!”

I like to think of it as Steve-insky. Like it’s his frat bro nickname or something.

this is trolling but honestly it sounds great to me.

When I was a sub, I got away with so much shit. I was teaching this high school remedial reading course for kids who were so illiterate that they were removed to this one classroom all day. So. Not unexpectedly, they were also not super polite well-adjusted kids, given the circumstances that seemed to contribute to…

When I was in 4th grade, I was already nearly 5’10”. Which is my current height. I was basically a year from finishing puberty. They thought I had a pituitary tumor and might die. Turns out I just have a huge pituitary and some hormone disorders. Point is, shit was hard for youngrootof. Kids were fucking dickbags.

My sister has several medical conditions, including brain-damage, and these have meant she has always been overweight (cuddly) and can seem a little slow. She’s also genuinely the sweetest, most laid-back person I know, which at high school basically means all these things combine to paint TARGET across her back.

In high school, a girl in my friend group started seeing the guy I’d been with off and on for the 3 previous years. At our senior class breakfast, the week before graduation, she started bragging about their last date and how she was such an improvement over his last relationship (me). I simply took my half-eaten…

While waiting at a coffee shop for my order, I watched a guy act like a complete asshole to the woman making his drink. My rage built with every word that came out of his disgusting yuck mouth, but I told myself not to make a scene at a place that my ultra conservative coworkers frequent. At some point during his…

I may have told this on here before, so please bear with me if you have, for some reason, heard it already:

I’m a very tall lady — 6’2” to be exact. As such, I’ve attracted my share of insecure men who haaaaate it that I am taller than them and aren’t shy about letting me know it.

So there was this guy who would always sexually harass me on my way home from work. I’d get off the train and walk by this auto repair shop. This motherfucker didn’t even work at the shop — the shop owner described him as a “parasite” who loitered outside of the shop trying to buy up junkers and always hollering at…

Thought of another!

One time I was at the bar wearing these really cute booties. They were a bit trashy and I got them at the thrift store but I was rocking it.

I have told my niece to never date anyone who’s television is larger than their bookshelf.

My first husband wasn't very bright. It's never a good idea to cheat on a wife that works for a government agency known for its expertise in spying. Third generation in the same line of work to boot.

We had just bought a house, had a baby, and gotten engaged. We weren't following the traditional sequence, but we were okay with that. Our daughter was almost six months old, and I was working 10 hours a day as a waitress while he looked for work after getting out of the Army.

One week, his mother came to visit,…