So he still has over 14.6 million twitter followers? I think he's good.

Making jokes about people's dress sense isn't the same as mocking other women's bodies. Also even if she's being hypocritical this is still pretty sad?

i will not rest until i know it all

Iodine poisoning

Fair weather fans.

But after reading this article I have to ask: "DID HE DIED?"

Should have just replaced his pot with mushy grass clippings from under a lawnmower

The fact that it wasn't mentioned in the article makes me feel like maybe I'm getting too old for this blog. :/ Um, she's watching the father of her kid (and her kid, I think) perform. VB and EVH basically had a page reserved in the National Enquirer for years - she's fed up with his drinking! He's fed up with her…

Now I'm starting to think that the author didn't know that Val was married to Eddie. I mean ... that's the whole joke. Eric Stonestreet tells "some lady" to get out of the way. She turns around and it's the ex-wife of Van Halen's legendary guitarist, and mother of its current bassist. That's why it's funny!

Obviously, he's trying to prevent stuff like this from happening. Oh the horror!

A guy came up to my friend and I at a fucking Lily Allen show, grabbed us both by the back of the neck and told us off for talking and singing along. I was like "what is the cross-section of men who are really into Lily Allen but also think it's cool to grab strange women by the neck?"

The father of her child AND her child. Wolfgang plays bass with them, no?

"Oh, I'm sorry. Am I in your way? I'm just trying to watch the father of my child perform on national television."

Ugh, as someone who rounds up to say they are 5'2", I HATE this. All the fucking time these tall-ass dudes feel like they can shove you out of the way and get in front of you at concerts. Half the time I've given up on even caring, since I probably couldn't see already, but those times when I found that ONE little…

I just find it so strange that nowhere in this piece do you mention that Bertinelli was married to Eddie Van Halen. For twenty-six years. I mean yes, "everyone" knows that, but next time, please think of the children so we can ward off a million "who?" comments. The internet is already cluttered with "What's Van…

Or their parents go hypocrite and get them a quick, quiet abortion. It's not murder if your little princess is too good for that lowlife who knocked her up.

Then I hope that everybody shuts the fuck up about it, anyway.

Didn't Bruce Willis do a "record" at the same time... I have a vision of him on an 45 sleeve with Don Johnson, and Eddie "My Girl Wants to Party All the Time" Murphy in holy trinity of "80's actors shame.