Do you also like great music?
I only like great music!

omg magic

I've worked for Darden. I've fought with Darden in the media. I know Darden. They'll only stop this shit once we raise a great big stink about it, and then they'll try to market themselves as abolitionists after. They are awful in every possible way, especially since the Starboard takeover, and I'd advise anyone to…

$$$$

It's an existential shout of the joy of life mixed with the knowledge of its misery.

"Hello Russell, this is Al Pacino, SHA MOH NAH"

this story probably wouldn't be as hysterical if I couldn't completely visualize these two polar opposite individuals locked in this bizarre hilariously antagonistic relationship. I wonder if russel Crowe was sad when Michael died. Like he suddenly lost a wierd part of himself.

We used to call people and just flush the toilet. We thought we were hysterical. Call ID ruined everything.

This is Megan Fox? She looks . . . different. In a good way.

uhhh take it from me, you do not want to deal with Cumberbatch fans. I made the mistake of watching the last episode of season 3 Sherlock at a bar that was streaming it. Made a comment to a friend that he was a grrat actor but looked my a morphed human/alien creature and I didn't get the sex appeal. Holy shit, you'd…

It makes me think that the speaker is going to do things merely because they seem to work in the movies — like show up to a dinner date with flowers (now I'm carrying these all night? Cumbersome and embarrassing) or hire a band to serenade you. Give you chocolate truffles although you've said you don't like them.…

"Man guys, being objectified is the worst. I totally identify and agree with women on that one. ... Redheads, though - amirite?"

It's the relationship version of answering a job interview question about your weaknesses with "I'm a perfectionist."

always a bit grossed when i hear someone say they're a hopeless romantic. we get it. you're a great partner or at least want to be seen that way.

I'm always surprised when he takes his clothes off and he's chiseled like a statue because his face looks like particularly whiny pudding.

I, for one, cannot wait until my nemesis gets her clit bluetoothed.

What if someone (an enemy, say)

I am of two minds on this. On one hand, it sounds very cool and I like new sex toys. I love technology. Remote controlled sex toys are incredibly fun and you can do a lot of very interesting things with them. Also, I love fun factory and I love their vibes (although they're kind of high end and expensive, for me).

But..…

/sadly resets the "DAYS WITHOUT AN EMBARRASSING STORY ABOUT MY HOME STATE" counter to zero