Chances that the woman from the last story did not work there but was in fact a methed out/bath salted retiree holding the restaurant at mayonnaise-point, because Florida?
Ugh, death by unchecked fungal growth eating away at your face. Thanks for the nightmares, X-Files!
I'd venture to guess those insomnia-inducing episodes were "The Host" with Flukie, "Home" with the Peacock family, "Tooms" with that stretchy creep, and...?
Don't even mention the word "crunchy" - it riles up my glutens something fierce! I assumed she meant she is lactose intolerant but got that mixed up in her addled, calcium-deficient brain.
"Calcium does such frightful things to my bones, making them so dense and heavy. Without calcium, I can live my life in brittle fragility as God intended."
"Calcium does such frightful things to my bones, making them so dense and heavy. Without calcium, I can live my life in brittle fragility as God intended for us old folks."
As a cocaine cutter in an innocuous warehouse near the docks, I work all day in my underwear surrounded by coke, but you don't see me sticking my nose in it. I'M A PROFESSIONAL, DAMMIT!
Ansel, I'm sure the feeling is mutual. It's scientifically proven that he has the face, the name, and the attitude that is more likely to induces a rage response rather than sexual feelings in mammals.
With a couple of wires and screws, a simple 5th grade science project will prove Ansel Engort is not a potato, since he does not generate enough electricity to power a small flashlight.
I imagine Naomi could snatch one of Cara's eyebrows Kill Bill-style, leaving the other as a reminder not to fuck with her again.
I'm glad someone's finally made something I can wear to the office, the gym, and a wedding while all still saying, "Fuck off".
John Kameroff is one stone cold mofo. I'd be freaking the fuck too out if an industrial oven had just blown off my eyebrows.
"Ansel Elgort and Violetta Komyshan" sounds like JK Rowling had a stroke in the middle of typing out Hogwart's class roster.
I just came here to agree with Cameron about how our desire to be validated by internet strangers is weird and to beg to be ungrayed by Jezebel. Please follow me! Like me! Validate my existence!
I felt a slight ping of sadness when I realized Kim' s hair schedule is more structured and regimented than most anything in my life.
Hey, it's our old friend, Carl, the world's greatest stock photo model!