Harry—>Barry, Padfoot—>Pagford.

And yet, while these ignorami sit around, smugly self-satisfied about the way their little acts of whining have made the world a safer place for children, we get to know that more people are reading these books because they've been banned. #LifeMakesSenseAgain

They're like unashamed crack addicts, the way they go after birch leaves and flowering trees. Hussies.

This dude has obviously never seen the lengths to which we'll go to keep these gluttonous harlots out of our yards.

Kill Chris Brown. Fuck Tucker Max with whips and chains and a riding crop, and marry Santorum, keeping him busy doing yardwork. You know deep down that Santorum is terrified of strong women because he's a wuss, who, instead of standing up to them, wants to cut them all down.

This law makes no mention of fertilization, so...yep. You are currently pregnant.

I think it's important to make the distinction between 'pro-life' and 'anti-choice.' Should we, as a society, try to minimize the number of unwanted pregnancies? Yes. Should we try to make sure that no woman feels that she has no choice but to abort, either from fear of financial destitution or social ostracism? Yes.…

Forget the brothel, I always think Hogwarts.

Given that the two bakeries in town are run by the Slavs and the Italians, I would not be the least surprised if the respective mobs ended up in on the action. That would put a new twist in Cake Boss, now wouldn't it?

I used to work at a flower shop that shared a building with a bakery. Whenever they'd spray for roaches, the roaches would come screaming into our shop, to die slowly beneath boxes of tissue paper and foam blocks. Lord only knew how many roaches were actually in the bakery. In the end, though? They still made some of…

Emergency castrations would be allowed when you're under attack! Rapist got you pinned against the barbed wire fence? Snap! off his balls, and he'll be instantly more docile.

You know what breaks my heart? From CNN: "A statement from Planned Parenthood said the group provides abortion care at three of its 27 centers in the state. It did not say which clinics provide those services."

Oh yes, reintroducing bacteria which modern humans have had absolutely no exposure to for the purposes of fitting into skinny jeans sounds like a fabulous idea! I also have some tickets to Jurassic Park to sell you.

That search is actually the activation key for the pneumatic tubes that Reagan secretly installed into every Jesus-loving household. You scoff now!

How DARE they interpret the law in ways that differ from my opinions!

There's talk that they're going to take our hearts.

Do we get a free baptism with this conversion?

Cuz? Is that you? /kidding.

Guys, guys, this is a perfect ad. Bitches will get so up in arms over it that they'll have to take a drink. Think of the sales we can generate!

I kind of love that the girl giggling in the background of the video still is wearing flip flops.