Don't forget to make sex outside the window of ovulation illegal, too!

Back in college, my residential health aid papered his door with condoms so people could just take one and go. (I always worried about sabateurs, so I always used my own stash, but moving on.) I so so so want to be a jerk and paper the doors of the church and every car in the lot with condoms and pamphlets that read: P…

Even with my $284 a month insurance plan, my last trip to the doctor cost $144 (which did include an X-ray for pneumonia) and Mr.61Below's trip to the GP to get an inhaler script cost $125. We haven't gotten the bill for his trip to the ER yet. I'd also like to point out that I'm a public employee, so those two doctor…

Insidious sexism is even harder to fight. People take such statements as *dur* obvious, because people still equate childcare with women's work. This is why equal opportunity benefits like paternity leave are so rare. How is that fair to the dads? How is that fair to the moms? Full stop, the 'women take more time off…

Our rescue weim is at the same time the most loving dog ever and the biggest handful. He needs attention and will do anything to get it, including removing competition (like chewing books and take revenge on freshly planted flowers in the garden.) All he wants is to be a lap dog.

Considering that a gorilla was the number two google image result for the First Lady for a long time, I think they've already failed at humanity.

Now say TEN HAIL MARYS and THREE OUR FATHERS!!!

My parents divorced when I was a baby, so my mom moved back in with her parents. My aunts were still at home, too, so I was extremely lucky to have 'four moms' in a way. But still, my aunts were in sports, and my mom and grandparents all worked, so I'd walk the block home from school, make myself a snack, and watch…

I hate the cultural understanding that men need to put their peen everywhere, all the time, starting at puberty and lasting forever. Such low expectations just reinforce and legitimize the concept of the irresponsible manchild at best and excuse rape as a biological imperative at worst. I trust in our monogamy, and…

That is the truest truth ever spoken...eugh.

My husband's toe nail clipping just bounced off of my glasses lens. I'm glad I already started my beer...

Are we talking about the number of people we've slept with or the number of people we've slept with plus the number of people they've slept with? Because when I mention that both numbers of people I've slept with is still 1, every medical professional I've seen has given me the biggest "girl, you lyin'/be gullible"…

God these refs are awful.

"We have the murder weapon right here!" The prosecution holds up a bloody tampon. The jury gasps. The stenographer pauses to make the sign of the cross.

In the name of my Army-medic mom and my Army dad, who met while stationed overseas, I'd like to present this giant middle finger to that whiny, blubbering bag of anal leakage. Well done, sir. Now shut the fuck up.

I pulled that (excellent) line from a StarTrib editorial that called for caucus reform. The editor made a good point that the current structure pretty much excludes anyone with a life from participating, so let's replace it with day long ballot box voting. I couldn't go to my caucus (and I so so so wanted to just to…

On the other hand, how many individuals actually donated? We had fewer voters turn out in these caucuses than for the last state gubernatorial race. "Santorum succeeded in Minnesota with fewer than 22,000 supporters, at caucuses in which barely more than 48,500 Minnesotans voted. That's fewer than fill the Metrodome…

What is this beautiful fantasy?!

I'd be happier, but I'm too busy hyperventillating over the Republican presidential candidates. *Sob*

This whole pro-life movement is all about refudiating logic, doncha know.